Page 51 of The Attraction

“But you could be.” I wink at her, and not giving her a chance to reply, I shoot the ball, and it’s game on. I’m working the machine hard and using every trick I have to keep my points moving up toward her total. I’m getting close, but for the first time in a game, I can feel the sweat on my brow. I didn’t realize how competitive I would be with Harper, but it’s making my adrenaline race, and I love it.

I can hear her mumbling next to me the closer I get to her total, and it makes me more determined.

The moment it happens and I race past her score, she cries out. “Damn it! I almost had you!” Her voice distracts me, and the ball is gone and it’s game over.

“Yes! Mr. Pinball reigns supreme,” I cry, throwing my hands in the air in victory.

“Best out of three.” She is right beside me, ready to take over the machine again.

“Sure, but that doesn’t get you out of answering my question.” Harper rolls her eyes at me as if to say, do I have to? “That was the bet, and I’m sure you are not someone who reneges on a bet, are you?”

“Of course not.” She stands with her hands on her hips, and I know that I need to ease into this and save the big questions for later.

“Good. Question number one is…” I tap my fingers on my chin, and I look toward the ceiling like I’m thinking hard. But the reality is I have so many questions that I just don’t know where to start.

“What is your perfect way to relax?” I’m pleased with myself that I have shocked her. I know she was expecting a hard question or something sexual.

“Really, that’s your one question you ask when you get a free ticket, and I have to answer? What a wasted opportunity, but okay.” She steps away from the game, and as confident as she was, the longer she thinks about it, she is struggling to answer.

“To be honest, I’m not really sure I have one. Sure, I love a massage or facial, but I can never completely switch off my brain while they are being done on me. Ummm, I don’t really read, and who’s got time to binge too much television. I thought this was a stupid question, but to be honest, I don’t have a real answer. I’ve never had time to find out.” She looks at me, perplexed.

“Well, then that’s a great answer, and it looks like we need to spend some time finding that thing that is perfect for you.” I tap her on the nose with my finger, not letting her dwell too much on that thought or the fact I touched her again.

“Okay, cutie, next game, see if you can beat the master.” I watch her nose scrunch up at my words.

“Ughh, the word cutie is a big fat no,” she says, turning her attention back to the next game.

“Oh, don’t worry, I have plenty of names. We will find the right one by the time we get to the end of this competition.” To which she just laughs at me and starts off with the first ball of the next game.

“I’m sure you do, and I’ll hate all of them.” This time she talks while playing, like she is in the groove of the game now.

“Oh, challenge accepted.” I let out a deep throaty laugh that feels so good to share with her.

I hate what is happening to Harper with her stalker, but I can’t feel sad that we are getting this time to get to know each other in a way that never would have happened otherwise. Let’s be honest, if I had called her either of those names six weeks ago, she would have torn me apart with a barrage of words or slapped me, one or the other.

But the more time we spend together, the more she is opening up to me in small ways. Not anything that she notices, but to me, they are huge steps. If we are ever going to be more than explosive sex and personalities that challenge each other, then it will be the little things that are important. Times like this, just carefree and fun, no superficial personality put on, no stress of what needs to be done, just a gap in time to breathe.

Letting her win this game is going to hurt my reputation, but I don’t care, it will be worth it to see what she asks me.

“Oh, not so spectacular this time. Guess it’s my turn to delve into the deep dark secrets of Mr. Taylor.” There’s pure delight on her face, and I can tell she knows exactly what she wants to ask.

“Bring it on, sweetheart.” I lean one hand on the pinball machine, my ankles crossed.

“Have you ever been in love?” And her face softens, as she knows she has asked something hard.

“Shit, you certainly aren’t wasting your win, are you?” I look at her, while in my head, so many words are rushing around on how to answer that.

I want to say I think I’m getting there, but that is not the answer she will want, and to be honest, not something I’m ready to share yet… with anyone.

“No.” It’s a simple as that.

“What, just one word? I think you owe me a better answer than that.” And she’s right, but how do I describe what I mean?

I take a moment before finally starting to talk.

“Have I been in lust, yes, but love, I don’t think so. I have been in a few short relationships, but when I look back, they were more like conveniences for both of us. And how I know this is that it never hurt to walk away, so I think that is a pretty good sign.” Taking a breath, it’s like I need her to understand a part of me that I don’t share with people. “Do I know what love feels like—you know, that deep love people talk about and that I see now in my brother and friends? No, I don’t. Am I looking for it? Absolutely. Because there is something pulling at me, telling me it’s time to let someone behind my barrier that I have. I don’t know if it’s my age or what, but I want to have a life now that is more than just work. Don’t get me wrong, I will always be a workaholic, but there is something missing, and I think it’s someone to love and to be loved by them in return.” I swallow hard as I’ve bared my soul to her. “So, yeah, that’s my answer.”

Already I can feel my heart retreating behind that barrier again. That is much more than I have ever let myself feel, let alone tell another soul. And not just any soul, it’s Harper.

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