Page 56 of The Attraction

All I can think of is that I’m obviously so far back in my trauma again that I’m now sleepwalking.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Now I’m curious how this played out.

“I said your name a few times, but you just didn’t even register I was there. They say never to wake someone who is sleepwalking and talking in their sleep, so I just put you back into bed and you started to settle. I went to leave, but you grabbed my arm and asked me to hug you one last time. You were almost begging me, and I debated what to do, but the moment I put my arm around your shoulders, you just melted into me like I was your lifeline. There was no way I was leaving you when you needed me. I’m sorry if that was the wrong thing to do, but I would do it all over again.” The compassion in his voice is a totally different man than the Forrest I first met and have been verbally sparring with for six months.

It's hard to believe I asked him to hug me. But I can understand it if I was in the dream with my dad, which is all about me longing for that one last hug from him.

“Please don’t hate me for not telling you. When it happened again the next night, as soon as I climbed into bed with you, you settled. The next morning, you always seemed so refreshed, like nothing had happened. So, I made the decision to keep it to myself because I knew if I told you, that would be the trigger for you to push me away and run. I don’t want you to run, Harper. Let me be this person for you. I can’t make the dreams stop, but I can keep you safe through them. Let me take your pain.”

I can feel tears in my eyes, but it is not from being scared or feeling distraught. These are different tears. Ones for the sweetness of a man who hides himself from everyone in this world, except me.

“I can’t give you what you want, Forrest. I’m not wife material, and I don’t think I will ever be.” I look up at him to see how my words are affecting him.

“I’m not asking you to marry me,” he says, with no reaction on his face.

“No, but that’s what you want. You told me you aren’t looking for a one-night stand, and I’m the poster girl for casual sex.” For the first time in my life, that felt awful to say. Saying out loud that I am a person who is not worthy of more.

“I think I’ve made it fairly clear the last few days that I just want you,” he declares in the sultriest voice, while he takes my cheek in his hand, and I sink into the warmth of it. “No expectations.” His thumb strokes my skin. “And if that means I have to be your one-night stand guy every night for a while until we sort this out, then I’ll be that for you.”

“What if we get there and I still can’t be that woman?” I ask, voicing my greatest fear.

“Then I will walk away, if that’s what you ask me to do.” I can see the wrinkles in his forehead as he frowns and takes in a deep breath, obviously not happy to even think about that scenario.

“I don’t want you to enter into something with me where you might get hurt.” I run my hand up his chest and wrap it around the back of his neck.

“That’s not your risk to take, Harper, it’s mine, and I’m prepared to take it with you.” Determination and strength are written all over his face.

“Maybe I don’t want to put myself in a position to be hurt either.” That has been my mantra since my dad left. I would never let anyone hurt my heart like that again.

“I won’t hurt you, that’s a promise.” Forrest pulls my face closer to his.

“How do I know that, though?” Our lips are so close that we are breathing the same air and sharing the same magnetism that’s drawing us together, one we can’t seem to walk away from, as much as we have both tried.

“You just need to trust me. Say yes, beautiful, just say yes.” His voice is so smooth but almost pleading at the same time.

My head is yelling at me to stand my ground and stay true to my mantra. But my heart wins as I answer the only way I can right now, in this moment of weakness and strength that are mixing together.

“Yes,” I whisper and reach that last inch forward and taste his lips like I have been wanting to do since the last kiss he gave me that hasn’t left my thoughts.

But Forrest pulls back and takes my head in both his hands as I hover over top of him. “This doesn’t have to be sexual, that’s for you to decide. I will wait if that’s what you need to feel safe.” Forrest is so sweet, but his words bring out a laugh that I wasn’t expecting.

“Hell no. If we are testing this out while I live here, then we will be fucking every night. You promised to be my one-night stand every night. Don’t go back on your word now.” Still laughing, finally, I see him smile, and before I have time to attempt to kiss him again, Forrest rolls me onto my back and is over top of me in a split second.

“Thank God, because I’m not sure what I was going to do with this,” he says, grinding down on my pussy with his cock that is rock hard, and a moan is already slipping from my mouth.

Forrest stops any more words from escaping, as his rough lips, that have just the smallest amount of stubble surrounding them, take mine like it’s the first time he gets to kiss me. It’s hard, rough, desperate, and everything that I want in this moment.

Emotions are hard for me, and tonight has been more than I can handle.

Breaking away from his lips, I mutter, “Make me forget.”

“Oh, I intend to.” His gruff reply comes from where he has buried his face in my neck as he continues to kiss my skin in every place he can reach.

“Don’t be gentle,” I plead.

“If you think I can go slow, you’re crazy. I’ve been lying with you in my arms every night. It was pure torture not to have you like this,” he says as he grinds his cock against my already engorged clit again. “Pure torture, I tell you.”

“If you are looking for pity, you’re in the wrong place. I get to work out next to you in the morning… now that’s torture.” This time it’s me pushing up against him.

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