Page 70 of The Attraction

“Umm, not sure he’s my man, maybe my man for right now. But when you put it like that, then I suppose that is what I want to know.” For someone who is a super confident and an out-there woman, in all aspects of my life, I’m not feeling that confidence right now.

“Harper, who are you kidding. That man over there, the one that has not taken his eyes off you all night, is your man. You can deny your feelings all you like, but there is a force of nature between you two that is pulling you together.”

“Yeah, it’s called lust,” I say, trying to shake off her words.

“No, not lust, that’s a fleeting moment in time, a feeling that your body sees someone and thinks they can make me feel good right now. What you and Forrest have between you, that’s far more than lust, and I think you know that deep down.” Why the hell is everyone around me at the moment so damn insightful? I might wish for that, but I’m not giving in to those feelings.

Trying to deflect from talking about me, I want to know more about what she sees in Forrest.

“Why do you think he was attracted to you? Are you trying to tell me that was a lust thing?”Please say no, please say no, is all I can think. I don’t want to hear that he is attracted to another woman in our friend group.

Cherie starts laughing. “Fuck no.” She puts her glass down on a table that is next to us then takes my hands in hers. Until I flinch, and then she registers. “Sorry, I forgot.” But the movement got what she wanted, which is to have my full attention.

“Harper, I’m sure you have already worked out that Forrest is a complex man. He carries weight on his shoulders that has molded him into the man he is. I don’t know him very well, but from my interactions with him, I’d say he feels a need to protect people. He was misguided thinking I needed that from him. But he was wrong. The pull toward me had nothing to do with lust or feelings. My guess is, watching from the outside, that he has spent most of his life taking care of his parents and Flynn at times, and then all the guys once they were in business together. So, when everyone else was settling into relationships and didn’t need him as much, he was adrift. He felt he had lost his purpose of being there for everyone and was on his own. You were flirting with him, and he wanted you and couldn’t deny his feelings but knew you didn’t want him the same way, so I was someone he could focus his energy on. But from the outside, I could see what was happening, and although it took a few heated discussions, he finally got it through his thick head that I was not who he needed.” Cherie looks at me, waiting for her words to sink in.

“So, I’m just the next person who needs saving?” My heart is spiraling, and I’m now kicking myself for even talking to her. This was a mistake. I start to move away from her, but Cherie steps in front of me.

“No, you’ve got that so wrong. You are saving him from himself. I doubt that man has ever let anyone in behind his walls, yet here he is organizing a surprise fortieth birthday for you and is the most relaxed I have ever seen him since the first night I met him. He knows you don’t need saving. Yes, he is protective of you against the current threat, as any man would be for the woman he cares about, but it’s not in the way your mind is telling you. Just take a deep breath and think about it. Have you had any big, deep, and meaningful discussions since you moved in with him?” Why am I starting to feel like I’m in a therapy session with Cherie?

“I’ve opened up to him more than I could’ve ever imagined with a man,” I admit, thinking to myself that she’s right.

“And has he done the same?” Her voice is soft and reassuring but a tone that for some reason I can’t stop from answering whatever she asks.

“Yes. Things I doubt he has ever shared with anyone else.” And the more she has me talking, the more things are falling into place in my head.

“So now think about what you said again. Do you think you are just a savior project for him?” Tilting her head to the side a little, her eyebrows rise, and her lips give a small uplift, waiting for me to answer.

“How do you know so much? You’re just like him. You can read me, and it’s annoying.” I laugh a little, smiling back at her.

“I have made a living out of reading and counselling people. It’s what I was put on this earth to do. To help people who can’t get out of their own way.” Cherie starts to giggle.

“Yep, that’s me. You nailed that in one sentence.” Reaching out, I put my hand on her arm, to which she looked as shocked as I am that I did it.

“Thank you, your words are more important than you know. But can we keep that between us? These people know more about me and my life than I ever wanted to share.”

“Oh, I hear you, sister. I have told them more about me than I ever anticipated, but it was needed at the time. But it’s all safe with me, and I just hope I’ve helped you see that this is much more than you keep telling yourself it is. You might have started at lust, but both of you are way past that now. Eventually you need to let go of those chains that are holding you back. But you’ll know when it’s the right time, and nobody gets to decide that but you.” Cherie places her hand gently on top of mine and gives it a little squeeze before moving it away again.

“Now enough of this heavy talk, but just know, I’m always here as a friend, or if you ever want to get some exercise and do a boxing session, let me know. You’d be surprised what it will do for some of that tangled mess in your head. Just think about it.” Picking up her glass, she tilts it to me to indicate that we need refills.

“Let’s get back to the celebrations and have some laughs, because Forrest’s laser-beam stares at me are getting a bit much. He is trying to melt me from a distance so he can get you back.” We both start giggling as we walk back to the group, and my laugh gets deeper as he heads straight for me.

“See, I told you. ‘Doesn’t share well with others’ was probably on every school report card,” Cherie whispers to me, and we both can’t stop laughing now.

“You are so right,” I reply as she heads off over to where Elouise and Tori are standing.

“Should I be worried about that little talk?” Forrest asks, pretending he is joking, but I know he isn’t really.

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” I go up on my toes and kiss him on the lips with a little nip on his lower lip, giving a hint of more to come later.

“Funny that you think I would let you leave.” He pulls me into his side as he wraps his arm around my shoulders, and we join the others.

* * *

Dinner was so beautiful. French food is one of my favorites, and now we are all in the nightclub Les Caves du Roy, continuing with the party. This celebrating me is something I could get used to.

“Come on, this is my favorite song.” Tori grabs my hand and pulls me up off the chair where I was snuggled in nicely next to Forrest. She then grabs all the girls, and we head for the dance floor. We move to the beat of Ed Sheeran’s new song “Azizam,” which has us all waving our hands and dancing together in a circle.

I may have had a few drinks tonight and am feeling a little bit tipsy, but I’m looking around, and it washes over me that these girls are my tribe. The ones who know things about me most people don’t, yet they don’t judge, they just take me as I am and love me anyway. It actually feels so nice to have a bigger circle than just Felisha and me. I have been really missing her since Flynn came onto the scene, but now, I understand that I have Tori, Elouise, and Cherie too. I can spend time with other women and not be worried if Felisha is with Flynn. Or when we are together in this big group, it’s way more fun than I ever expected to have with the men out with us. For so long I have pushed them away, but this weekend has shown me I might have made a mistake on that hard stance of mine. I mean, Flynn has become like a brother to me, as much as he pretends to annoy me, as I do to him, but he was the first man I let get close to me since my father left. To be honest, I didn’t have much choice since he pushed his way into my life, and in the end, I gave up.

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