Page 76 of The Attraction

“No,” he growls as he stomps up the stairs.

And before I can argue back, we are through the door, and he throws me onto the bed. My arms and legs fly into the air, and my body bounces up again as I hit the mattress. But there is no time to do anything before Forrest is over top of me and pinning me to the bed with his body.

My wish for space is not happening because there is barely room for me to breathe right now.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not fighting back. I move my hands to his chest to push him off, but he grabs them and pins them above my head. His big hand takes both my wrists and holds them down, while his other hand is on my chin and making sure he has my full attention.

“Tell me what crap was spinning around in that head of yours that started your spiral in the car.” His eyes are trying to pierce my soul.

“Nothing.” I don’t want to talk about it, and I’m certainly not saying the word love anywhere near him.

“I call bullshit. Try again,” he demands, but I’m not giving in that easily.

My silence sends him the same message but without words that I’m not ready to talk about it.

“Okay, if that’s the way you want to play it, then I’ll talk for you.” He shocks me with his words and then drops his lips onto mine. It’s not gentle, this kiss is rough and arousing. I shouldn’t feel the tingles right now, but he is already bringing them out in me. I just can’t ignore the way he is making his point. “And that’s to remind you what we have. We are hot and heavy, soft and sultry, or whatever the hell we want us to be. No one word defines us, Harper. So, stop freaking the fuck out because Felisha said the word love.” The heat as his lips take mine again burns my body, and I respond by raising my hips to rub against him in a way that I can’t stop.

But the moment I open my eyes from his scintillating kiss, I can see it in his eyes no matter how hard he tries to hide it, and I know that I’m on borrowed time.

Forrest has fallen in love with me.

But I can’t return that same feeling to him. I can’t let myself fall into that trap. That just leads to hurt, and I won’t go there again.

I need to stop my heart from wanting to feel it too.

It’s just a stupid fantasy that I can’t have. I knew that, and I told him from the beginning. But he pushed me into this illusion that it would be okay. We’d just have fun and worry about it all later.

I warned him, but I won’t do this to him. I’m not letting him get any more attached than he already is.

I don’t want him to feel the kind of hurt that has plagued me most of my life.

And brick by brick, I start to build that wall I have relied on, but this time, I’m going to use it to protect Forrest’s heart too. One day he’ll thank me for it.

My head might be rationalizing all that I need to do, but my body is betraying me and wants what he is offering. And just as his cock grinds down hard on me, I decide one more day won’t matter. It’s my birthday, after all.

Trying to push my plans to one side, I decide that I’m going to live every minute of this day with this incredible man, but tomorrow, I’m moving to Felisha’s apartment. Because it’s the best option for both of us.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard that you won’t be thinking about anything but my hard cock pounding into you and how much you want more.” That voice undoes me every time. I can’t resist him, and right now, as much as I know I should, I won’t. Because I want him to take away all my thoughts too.

“Yes, fuck me like only you can.” I’m the one reaching to kiss the life out of him this time, and it’s the start of what I can only describe as the hottest and most frantic sex we’ve had, and I won’t ever forget that moment together.

* * *

Sitting on the plane, nearly everyone is sleeping. It’s been a big weekend, full of fine wine and dining and lots of partying last night. I wish I could close my eyes and sleep too, but I just want to savor every moment I have left with Forrest in my orbit. He isn’t sleeping either, but we are just sitting together, with his arm around me, and he’s stroking my arm like he always does. Normally it would soothe me, but today, it just makes me feel sad.

After we land, I slide into the car that was waiting at the airport for us. After thanking everyone for such an amazing weekend, my phone vibrates in my bag. Pulling it out to look at the message before Forrest gets into the car with me, I see it’s from Cherie.

Cherie: I don’t know what happened, but my offer stands. Meet at my gym Tuesday night 7pm. Bring your gym gear and be ready to work hard. I’m not going to sit back and let you screw this up.

How the hell can this woman read me when she hardly knows me? I want to write “back the fuck off,” but I don’t, because if I’ve learned anything since I’ve been living with Forrest, it’s that I need help!

Maybe it’s time for something different. Because if I’m ever going to live through these nightmares that aren’t going away without Forrest, I have to find a new way.

Nothing else is working.

My fingers move quickly over the screen as I reply.

Harper: You freak me out, woman, but okay. Do your worst. But just between us, tell me how you know something has changed?

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