I want to think bad things about him, but I just can’t. He cares for me more than I deserve, and I can’t deflect my bad behavior on to him.
The creak of my office door opening has me quickly shoving the ribbon back into the drawer, knowing at this time of night the only person it will be is Felisha, but my heart stops when the deep voice echoes through the room.
I never noticed how similar they sound until this moment.
“Hey, Harper, just checking if you’re ready to head home with us.” Flynn walks toward my desk, looking unsure how to handle me.
And this is the reason everyone warned both Forrest and me to stay away from each other. Because if things go bad, like they have, it affects us all.
“Flynn. Wasn’t expecting you.” I stand as he gets closer.
“I came to pick up my two favorite girls.” Not sure if his humor is hitting the right spot with me tonight.
“Don’t let Tori, Elouise, and Cherie hear that.” I try to smile at him, but it’s halfhearted because I’m tired and I don’t know how he feels about me right now. He’s probably as pissed off with me as I am with myself for hurting his brother, but I had to do it. If I let it go any longer, then it would have been harder to walk away.
But in the meantime, I need to fix this.
Stepping out from behind my desk, I walk toward him. “I’m sorry, Flynn, you probably hate me right now. I tried to tell him this would happen, but he just ignored me. And I know it’s going to be hard with me living in your home, so I appreciate your kindness right now.” I’m trying to hold back tears that have been hovering just under the surface all day.
“Harper, yes, I’m pissed off, but not at you. Both of you are as stubborn as the other, and I just want to smack your heads together and hope like hell the brains rattling around will reset themselves. But while I can’t do that, I’m still your friend and you are important to me. So, whatever you need, I’m here, okay?” His face is full of empathy, and that makes it even harder to hold myself together.
“Thank you. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you are the better brother.” I shrug my shoulders, and he bursts out laughing at me.
“We both know you don’t mean that, but I’ll take it while I can.” Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, he pulls me to his side in the half hug that I have come to allow from him. It’s short but firm and tells me he cares at a time I need to hear it.
“Can you do me a favor, though? Can we not talk about him? I know I sound like a bitch, but I’d prefer to pretend he isn’t your brother and that I can just be in your home and not have to hear how quickly he is moving on.” I step back to shut down my computer and collect my things, but Flynn laughs behind me.
“Oh, he’s never moving on, I can guarantee that. But sure, I can do that for you. Now let’s get out of here, I’m starving because I missed lunch today.” Flynn moves toward the door and holds it open for me.
“Same but don’t tell your brother that.” I stop and look up at Flynn, slapping my forehead. Force of habit that I need to break in time.
“Doubt that will be a problem right now.” And I keep walking as he locks the door behind me. Flynn’s answer is a little weird, but I don’t have the energy to think any more about it.
Felisha is standing outside her office waiting for us, and as I approach, she holds her arm out and I link mine inside it. It’s our equivalent of a bro hug without actually hugging.
I’m going to miss that the most. His touch.
I was just getting used to how good it felt to be held in his arms and not feeling like I was drowning in pain.
But now it’s all gone, and it hurts so deep.
It’s for the best, but it doesn’t mean it hurts any less.
Maybe it’s time I let Felisha in that little bit more into my life and start to reach out and connect on that deeper level of touch. And although she is a friend, she is the closest person I have to me, even above my family. So surely, I should be able to let her hug me.
The thought settles in my head, and I’m determined to try it, but just not tonight.
I’m so emotionally drained that I’m not sure how I’m still functioning. I just want to shower and crawl into bed to sleep.
And that thought is enough to have my heart racing inside my chest.
How the hell am I supposed to sleep when Forrest isn’t there to keep me safe?
Well, you were the idiot who pushed him away, so now you are about to find out.
This sounds like fun… not.
FORREST