Why didn’t you leave?Kade’s question replayed over and over in her mind. Why? Because a weak part of her had thought he would come back for her, and apologize to the Crew, and make amends. It was a stupid, naïve part of her, but it had existed, and it was what it was. And she knew that sounded so stupid, but she hadn’t known what else to do. They’d had a plan! She had stuck to the plan. He was the one who didn’t stick to the plan!
Jess tried to drag air into her lungs, but it didn’t work. A sob escaped her, and she sank down to the porch, with her back against the rough stones of the firepit. She buried her face in her hands and just…cried. Cried for everything that had gone wrong when she was little, and cried for everything that she’d lost, and cried for the disappointment that had always existed inside of her for her brother’s behavior, and cried that the house had been torn down by a fight over her, and she cried for crying over a house where she had been trapped. Her animal was right. She’d called it correctly. It had been a cage, yet here she sat, weak, crying over being released from her personal cage.
The back door swung open, and there Kade stood, holding a pizza box and a six pack of soda cans. His eyes searched her face, and went from confusion to softness.
“Go away!” she yelled, hiding her face against her forearms.
She could hear him put the pizza box down on the swing, and she hated him. She hated him! She hated everything.
Kade’s boot prints echoed hollowly against the wooden boards of the porch as he left. The door clicked closed behind him, and she sagged as another sob escaped her.
Her breath hitched as she heard the door re-open, and then there were Kade’s boot prints again, coming closer. He was supposed to be gone. He was supposed to leave. She’d told him to go away, but stupid males never did as females asked.
Kade slid his arms around her, and she shoved him off. “Don’t touch me.”
He waited as she cried for a few moments, and then he slid his arms tighter around her, and this time, she couldn’t break free. He was too strong. Men just thought they could do whatever they wanted. Jess struggled, but his hug tightened like an anaconda’s grip. He was sitting right next to her now. She sobbed and struggled again, but he pulled her into his lap and his hug was suffocatingly tight.
Her next struggle was pitiful. Something shifted as she felt comfort in the pressure. She didn’t want him to go anymore, because this embrace was probably the only thing holding her together now.
“I h-hate you,” she whispered brokenly.
“That’s okay.”
“I h-hate you,” she repeated. “I hate everything.”
“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered against her ear as he rocked her slowly.
And she stopped struggling completely. Instead, Jess gripped his shirt and let off a heartbroken sob. “Everything went wrong.”
He didn’t shush her or tell her she was being unreasonable. These kinds of outbursts weren’t allowed for females in the Sister’s Edge Crew. Emotions were to be kept in check. But here, Kade just rocked her and let her talk. Jess fell apart and buried her face against his shirt and cried until she ran out of tears.
“I’m so fucked up,” she said in a small voice.
“We’re all fucked up.”
“But I’mreallyfucked up,” she whispered. Even she could hear the truth in her voice.
“Well, that’s probably why I find you so interesting.”
“What?” she asked, sniffing as she eased back.
Kade brushed his thumbs firmly across both her cheeks, wiping away the dampness there. “You would be boring as hell if you were normal.”
“Are you saying I’m…I’m…weird?”
“Oh, so weird.” He cracked a slow grin that said he was teasing.
“None of this is funny. I cried on your shirt.”
He shrugged. “I have a spare in the truck.”
She frowned. “What are you even doing here?”
“I was up the street getting you a pizza for dinner when you texted. I was just going to drop it on your porch, but then you texted and I thought that was the green light to come in.”
Her frown deepened. “You just walked into the house?”
“I knocked like four times, and then I texted and said I was coming in with food.”