Page 103 of The Plan

“Let’s get you off this floor, okay?” I nod and throw my arm over her shoulder.

“Ahh ah!” I feel my knees going out, but she holds me tighter.

“I got you, V.” The intern leads us back to the bed I was in, but I don’t want to be here. I turn to Hazel, and she looks likeshe’s fighting back tears, seeing the blood in the bed and the ultrasound screen, putting the pieces together.

“I want to go home.”

“You need to let me check you, Vidia.” I shut my eyes at the sound of the doctor's voice. The thought of it alone hurts too much. “It’ll be fast, and I promise you’ll feel better once it’s over.”

I keep my eyes shut, not wanting this to be real. Waiting to wake up in Sire’s arms. Waiting to wake up from this nightmare and get up and go to our last party together, where we’ll have the best time.

“Vidia.” Someone is touching me, but with my eyes closed, I can’t tell if it’s Hazel or the doctor, so I pull away and touch my stomach.

“I didn’t even know I was pregnant.” I open my eyes and look over at Hazel just as she wipes her tears. “It’s not fair,” I say, shaking my head.

“I’m so sorry, V.” She hugs me, and I break all over again. “You need to let them do this, okay? Just a quick check, and I’ll take you home. Okay?” I don’t respond and hold her in silence.

Just one check.I pull away while sniffling and give her a small nod. She looks over at the doctor and gives them a nod. We sit in silence as the doctor gets everything she needs. When she walks back in, I quickly grab Hazel's hand in fear.

“Are you ready?” I squeeze my eyes shut and nod. She puts the gel on my stomach to check, and I keep my eyes close and away from the screen.

I go to my happy place, and I’m mad it’s him. I think about how freeing it felt swimming with the manta rays on my birthday, how light I felt with him. Like I was floating, how perfect that day was. Watching the sunset with him, how he pretended to propose, the ring.

I think about the size of my baby in the ultrasound. I must’ve gotten pregnant that day. The first time we slept together.

I hear the doctor take her gloves off, telling me it’s over, but when I open my eyes, I know it isn’t. That’s the look Jen had me perfect, the bad news look.

“Vidia, your body didn’t pass the ti—” She quickly corrects herself. “The baby, I know this is hard, but—”

“Has your baby ever died inside you while you didn’t even know it was there?” Her eyes widen a bit at my outburst, but I’m fed up with her acting like she can sympathize with me.

“No, however—”

“That’s what I thought.” She stays silent for a second and then continues with even worse news, somehow making this night ten times worse for me.

“Your baby is still in your uterus. I need you to come back in about two weeks so we can check again, and we might need to do a D&C.” I stare at her for a few seconds, then look over at Hazel to check if she heard what I did, but she closes her eyes and lightly shakes her head.

“You can come back on—”

“I’m not coming back.” I suck in a breath and bite my tongue so I won't scream again. There’s a throbbing pain between my legs, and my stomach feels like I’m being stabbed with a fucking chainsaw. When I feel something warm trickle down my legs, Hazel shoots up from her seat.

“Vidia, that’s a lot of blood.”

“You said you’d take me home after that one check. She checked, and I want to go home.” She looks down at the floor with a sad look in her eyes.

The doctor rushes over to me, and when she sees the blood, she turns to the intern. “We need to do the D&C right now. Go get—”

“No. No one is taking my baby from me. I’m going home.” I try to take a step, but I’m in too much pain to move. I close my eyes and try to catch my breath, but it feels like I’m fucking dying.

“You won’t be in any more pain once we remove the tissue.”

“The baby! Stop talking about it like that’s not what it is, a baby.” The intern is staring at me like she’s about to call for a psych ward, but maybe she should because I’m starting to feel like I’m delusional.This isn’t happening.

“And Iwillbe in pain. I’ll be in more pain because my baby will still be dead!”

“Vidia…” I look over at Hazel, and she looks like she’s trying to keep it together for me but is failing.

“No dejes que se lleven a mi bebé.” Hazel doesn’t answer but hugs me instead, and we sit back on the bed. “Prométame, Hazel.” I feel her shudder against me as I start sobbing in her arms. “Please,” I beg.

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