Page 108 of The Plan

Technically, taking one of these wouldn’t be relapsing…

Snorting two of them definitely will be.

“Fuck it.” Before I can change my mind, I crush two pills. I pull out my wallet and line the powder with my ID card. Without thinking, I lean over and throw away everything I worked six years to build.

There goes your promise to the twins.

“Shut up.” I close my eyes, and the thought of taking one more pill sounds really fucking good right now if it’ll make these guilty thoughts go away. I made that promise when I was a kid. It barely counts.

That promise kept you sober for six years.

“Fuck!”

Someone rings the bell, and I jump out of my thoughts. I dust off the corner of the nightstand, then wipe my nose. I walk out of my room and quickly put the bottle of pills back. When I swing the door open, Sage walks in with two cups of coffee.I’m kicking August’s ass when this shit wears off.

“Hey, bonus brother.” She walks in and keeps her eyes on me, trying to analyze me. I fake a smile and take the cup of coffee from her hand.

“Hey.” I take a sip, and she stays staring at me.

“You don’t look drunk?” I’m so glad I chose to shower and look presentable.

“Because I’m not.” I walk past her and sit on the couch. She turns around but doesn’t sit next to me.

“August said you’ve been drinking a lot lately. He’s worried about you.”

“August is a liar.” That’s a lie. I’m the liar.

“August wouldn't lie to me. Especially not about this.” I take another sip of my coffee and shrug my shoulders.

“Well then, he exaggerated because I’m fine.”

“Okay, good.” She walks over to the kitchen, her heels clicking against the tiles. She opens our cabinets and takes the last bottle we have, thanks to my drinking spree.

“You don’t mind if I take this then, right?” Sage doesn’t drink, so I shake my head because I know what she’s doing.

“Go right ahead.” I close my eyes and wait for the euphoric feeling I’ve been dying for to run through me. I hear her walk into the hallway leading to our rooms, but she comes back out after a minute.

My eyes land on the bottle of pills in her hand, and I can’t bite back the smirk on my face. “August told me to pick these up.” Her voice is soft, almost like she doesn’t want to take the pills and liquor from me, but she does. I know August sent her because he knows I wouldn’t say no to her.They know what they’re doing.

But they’re too late. You already broke your promise to them.

“We’re not doing this because we don’t trust you, Sire. We’re trying to help you.”You shouldn’t.She tosses both things she just confiscated into her bag and walks over to me.

“I was thinking about you last night, and I was really worried.” She takes my hand and kisses the back of it. When she notices her lipstick stain, she rubs it away shyly. “But I kept thinkingabout the day we announced you were officially joining the family.” She looks so fucking hopeful, and I have to turn away from her.

Why couldn’t she come to give me this speech five minutes ago? You’re too late, big sis. I already fucked up.

“I kept reminding myself what you told us.” I squeeze my eyes shut, and my chest feels like it burns and squeezes all at once. “You sat us all around the living room for a family meeting while you gave a big speech on why you’ll never use drugs again.”

She chuckles softly at the memory, and I swallow the lump in my throat. “You made us all cry as you went in a circle, listing things about each of us that will keep you sober.” I shake my head softly, but then I suddenly feel lighter as those pills finally hit.

Sage tugs on my hand, and I turn back to her. “Oh, don’t cry.”

I chuckle softly and blink rapidly to keep my tears from spilling. She looks up and fans her eyes. “You’re going to make me ruin my makeup.” She laughs softly.

When she looks back over at me, I start to wish I didn’t take the pills, but I did, and a part of me is glad for it because the high is starting to wash away the guilt.

“I’m running late for my photoshoot, so I have to go. Can we get dinner this Friday? Me, you, Lis, and August?” She turns her head to the side, her pretty smile beaming.

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