“Sire?” I look up at him, and he looks worried. He’s been worried for the past few days, but right now, I feel all of the events crashing down on me.I need another hit.
“I need you to take the test for me.” Disappointment covers his expression, and he runs a hand down his face.
“What the fuck, Sire?” He lets out a breath, still very worried.
“Why do you sound like you’re not going to pass it?” I lightly snicker. Although this isn’t very funny, the drugs make me feel as though it is.
“The problem is thatyouwon’t pass it!” He shakes his head and just stares at me in disbelief. “When?” He sounds so damn hurt.
“It doesn’t matter, Au—”
“Yes, it does. Answer me. When?” He’s trying not to sound mad, but he obviously is. My shoulder slouches a bit, and I run a hand through my hair.
“Yesterday.” He closes his eyes as he shakes his head. “And five minutes before the meeting started.” My voice is low in case anyone is outside listening. His eyes shoot open in concern.
“You’re high right fucking now?!” he whisper shouts, then starts pacing the room. “Sire, what the fuck is wrong with you?” I play with Vidia’s ring and realize why she plays with it when she’s nervous. It’s kind of soothing, but so are drugs.
“How high are you?”
“Okay, I guess. Hi, how are you?” He looks at me like I’m absolutely insane. Did he not just ask me how I was doing? I squint my eyes, trying to remember, but that doesn’t sound right. Obviously, he knows I’m not doing good.
“Fuck me.” He shakes his head as he rolls his eyes, and I eye him suspiciously.
“Uh. No. We’re basically brothers, you weird fuck.” My voice comes out concerned, and I am.I knew he was gay.“I’m proud of you for coming out.” I shrug.
“Sire, what the fuck!?” He sounds so confused, and I lightly laugh but stop when I see him scolding me and look around the room.Awkwardddd.I was joking, jeez.
“Calm down, August. Just pee in the stupid cup for me, and everything will be fine. They won’t even notice.”
“And everything will befine?Nothing will befine,Sire. You’re high as fuck and fucking relapsed, and now you want me to also risk my future for you by doing this?”
“Well, when you put it that wa—”
“It’s—I—I’m not putting it any fucking way. That’s exactly how it is.” He’s talking with his hands now, telling me he’s getting mad.
“Are you not going to do it?” I ask with sarcasm and a smile because I know he will, but then he hesitates and avoids my eyes. My smile is now gone, and I shoot up from my seat.
“August.” He finally looks at me, but there's regret and hurt in his eyes. “If you say no, you’re dead to me.” He stops pacing, and his mouth gapes open, but I don’t take it back. I meant it. Maybe that’s the drugs talking, but I feel myself start to grow frantic. I need another hit. I need to get out of this damn room, and I’m going to say anything I need to get out of this.
He lets out a scoff. “Wow. I forgot how much of a fucking dick you are when you’re on drugs.”
“Just fucking do it, you—”
“You are in no fucking position”—He points at me—“to be demanding shit from me!”
“Lower your voice before someone hears you.”
“No! Shut the fuck up and fuck you!” He turns to walk out, but when he opens the door, he slams it shut again and whips back around to me. “The last time I passed a drug test for you, you said it wouldn't happen again, and look where we are now.”
“August—”
“Don’tAugustme. Dammit, Sire, the last time I did this for you, you were gone for two fucking days, and I found you passed out in a fucking alley.” His eyes start to water, and we both turn away from each other, not able to face the pain. We were only fifteen when I scared him like that, but he never brought it up until just now.
“I thought you were fucking dead. Fuck, I can’t go through that shit again, Sire.” He sounds so fucking traumatized, but he goes on. “So what did I do? I got on my fucking knees and begged Mom to save you because I knew you would’ve ended up dead if we didn’t take you in.”
“Okay, August. I get it.”
“No, you don’t get it. You don’t fucking get it. Look at me!” He bangs on the table between us, and I turn to face him. His eyes are red, and he wipes his cheek as a tear falls. He sniffles and stands a bit straighter, and his voice is calmer. “If I do this again, you’re going to rehab. Today.”