Page 126 of The Plan

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Maybe she’s just tired; it is almost two am.

“Mhm.” She stands and then turns her back to me. “Unzip me, please.” She sounds exhausted and is slurring her words a bit, but I’m also tired, so I don’t pay any mind and drag the zipper to her dress down.

My eyes fall on her bare back. I follow the movement of her hands as she slowly pulls the tight dress down her waist. For a quick second, I take in the sight of her and then look away.

Once she has the oversized shirt over her head, I look back over at her just as she turns to face me. “I ever told you how pretty you are?” I love it when she calls me pretty. I smile at her, and she moves a hair from my face.What is she doing?

“No, you haven't. Go ahead.”

She laughs, and I just stare at her, mesmerized by the sound.

“You really are pretty, Sire.” She gets on her tippy toes, and I swear my heart races as she slowly leans into me. The second our lips meet, I go still.

I don’t pull away to question her and pull her in instead, taking what she’d give. Our lips move in sync, and I kiss her slower, soaking in the moment. I feel deprived of her. Of her touch, her kisses, all of her. I slide my hands up and down the side of her thigh and deepen the kiss, wanting more of her.All of her.

When my tongue glides along hers, I go completely still at the taste of alcohol. I feel a rush at the familiar taste, and I want more than anything to continue kissing her. I just don’t know if it’s to taste her or the liquor, and that’s the damn problem.

I pull away and let out a sigh. “Dammit, Vid.”

She leans into me again, but I take a step back, putting much-needed space between us and the temptation.

“What’s wrong?” What’s wrong is that I’ve been trying so fucking hard not to drink, not to relapse, and the taste of alcohol on her tongue makes me crave it more.

“Why are you so drunk?” My voice is covered in disappointment, and I feel my shoulders slouch. Any sponsor would tell me to cut her out of my life right this second because I really don’t need people around me to bethisfucking drunk.

Instead of answering me, she climbs into my bed. With Isa on the other end, Vid is in the middle. She taps my side of the bed, and I let out a sigh, running my hand through my hair.

If I just go to sleep, I won’t want to drink.

I climb into bed with her, and she wraps her arms around me. “I didn’t want to be alone, so I came back here.” Alone?

“Where were you going to sleep?” She wouldn’t have been alone next door. I’m pretty sure both Hazel and August are home.

“You’ll be mad when I tell you, but just remember I love you.”

My eyes quickly shut because hearing those words physically hurt. “Please don’t say that.”

“What? You will be mad.”

“No, that you love me. Don’t say that. Not right now.” I open my eyes to look at her, and she’s looking up at me, confused.

“Why not?”

“Because I—” I stop myself, but she probably won’t remember this in the morning, so I continue. “Because I’ve been waiting for you to say those three words to me for the last four years. Because since the day I first told you I loved you, I wanted nothing more than for you to say it back.” She blinks a few times, and I wipe an eyelash that falls on her cheek.

“Because when you threw your ring and jersey at me and said you didn’t love me, I felt like the floor was caving in under my feet. Because you’re drunk, and you don’t mean it, and I need you to mean it. I need you to love me back.”

She closes her eyes and rubs circles on my bare chest with her index finger. “I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t love you that day.” She opens her eyes again and looks up at me. “I love you, Sire. I mean it.” I feel like every problem I could ever come across fades hearing her words, and I close my eyes as I try to believe her.

“Do me a favor and tell me again when you’re sober, okay?” She doesn’t answer, and when I look down at her, she isn’t rubbing my chest, and her breathing evened out. She’s already asleep.

“Please tell me again when you’re sober,” I say, in hopes maybe she’ll remember and say the three words I so desperately want to hear.

I feel like I twist and turn for hours, and the entire time, I try to put as much distance between Vid and me as this bed can offer. I almost get up to sleep on the couch because every time she touches me, even a slither, I feel myself getting more mad.

This year was so hard for me, but I did it. I earned my bronze chip in AA, and I wanted to spend the day with her, yet she was out getting blackout drunk? I didn’t even get to tell her what today was because she blew me off when I went to see her at work.

I roll over for the hundredth time, but by the time Isa wakes me up, it feels like I only slept a few minutes. I make breakfast for her, and we stay in the living room as Vid sleeps the day away, but after a few hours, Isa starts acting like a brat.

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