Page 128 of The Plan

I look up from my phone, cutting her off by sliding my sobriety chip across the counter to her. “I made one year sober.”

She looks down at my chip and smiles so damn big it almost washes away my anger. “Today? Congr—”

“Yesterday.” I quickly shut her down. “I wanted to spend the day with you, but you were busy getting blackout drunk and stumbling through my apartment.” My voice is ice, and she slowly closes her eyes. When she opens them, they’re full of regret.

“Sire, I’m so s—”

“Don’t even bother apologizing, Vidia. Why were you so drunk last night?” I want to hear her explanation before her apology. She plays with her ring, but I don’t go easy on her. I need her to understand this.

“Answer me, Vidia.” I don’t raise my voice and keep calm instead. Mainly because Isa is sleeping behind us but also because I don’t want this to be an argument. I’m tired of arguing with her.

“Something happened at work and—”

“What something?”

“That doesn’t matter, I—”

“It does. What something?” I’m not letting her out of this. She needs to explain. If not, then fine, her choice, but I’m not putting her above my sobriety. Not again.

“Why do you care so much? I just—”

“Why do I care?” I lean back in my seat because I can't believe she just said that. “Yesterday was all I’ve been working toward. Three hundred and sixty-five fucking days without a drop of alcohol.” I tap my chip against the counter before pushing it closer to her.

“That has been my one goal,” I point to my chip, “and I finally did it after four damn years of feeling like a failure, Vidia. Then you kissed me, and I tasted the liquor on your tongue, and I wanted to drink again.”

Her eyes slightly widen as she takes a small step back, and that’s when I realize she doesn’t even remember kissing me, which only upsets me more.

“Do you know what that feels like? To work so damn hard for something then feel likethatby the one person I wanted to celebrate with. On top of that, I’ve been dying to fucking kiss you, Vid, and I finally get to, andthat'show I feel?” I hate that I don’t sound as mad as I feel. Disappointment is all my voice is laced in.

“I didn’t know I—”

“You did,” I cut her off, “and anyone at my NA or AA meeting would tell me to cut you out of my life because I don’t need people around me who are inconsiderate enough to breach my sobriety the way you did. Especially not right now.” It’s clear my words shock her, and she looks so hurt I almost take it back.

“God… I am so sorry, Sire.” I shake my head softly, unable to hide the disappointment that’s surely on my face. I look down at my sobriety chip, turning it in my fingers a few times, and she stays silent.

I give her a few more seconds, but when that passes, she still doesn’t say anything. I look up at her, trying to figure out why the hell she isn’t offering me something better than a weak apology, but when my eyes land on her, I notice a new wave of panic settle over her, like she’s so lost in her thoughts.

“What—”

“Maybe we really shouldn’t be together.” She shakes her head, and I feel my brows furrow.

“What do you—”

“No, you’re right.” She shakes her head again like she doesn’t want to say whatever's on her mind, but she does, and I feel myself grow frantic. “I really am sorry about last night, Sire, and I know you want to work things out between us, but I obviously don’t deserve you. I don’t know why you’re so hell-bent on us getting back together. I mean, I—”

“God, Vidia, I feel like I haven’t been able to breathe properly the last four years without you.That’swhy I’m hell-bent on getting back with you. I’m hopelessly fucking in love with you.”

She’s stuck in place for a few seconds but doesn’t say anything.

“Why are you so willing to give up on us?” She doesn’t answer, and I feel myself growing annoyed. “Answer me. I’m done putting in a hundred percent while you only put in fifty, so can we drop the self fucking pity.”

“I’m—”

“No, Vidia. If you want me to cut you out of my life for the shit you pulled last night, here’s your out.”

A crease grows in her brows, and she drops her arms. She opens her mouth to say something and then stops herself.

“If you want to leave and walk out on us, there's the door.” I push because I need to make sure she wants this to work between us as badly as I do. She looks over at her exit and then back at me, and the look she gives me makes me feel sick, but I push harder.

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