Page 161 of The Plan

“I mentally prepared myself to die.” Memories of my phone call with Sire come flooding back, how I told him to tell my mom I loved her, then hung up on him because I didn’t want him to hear me die.

“I was ready to die, and then I… didn’t. I didn’t know what to do with that.” I shake my head softly. “Of course, it was a goodthing, but… I don’t know, it was just weird, but before I could make sense of any of it, you happened.” My eyes are already on him when his head snaps in my direction.

“In a way, I got you back after you picked me up that night. I didn’t talk about the break-in because at first I didn’t want to, but then, and maybe I’m just now realizing but, I didn’t need to talk about it after a while.”

His eyes stay on mine, and that’s when I notice he pulled over somewhere between the time I was gazing at him. He doesn’t say anything and lets me go on. “It probably wasn’t healthy, but when I got that small piece of you back, it was like that part of me that was ready to die came back to life, and I was all healed.”

There’s probably a word for that. Trauma bonding or some shit, but I don’t want to label it. I want it to just be ours. Not something that also happens to other people.

“I didn’t prepare myself for you to die that night.” I didn’t expect him to say anything, but I don’t stop him. He intertwines our fingers, and we hold onto each other.

“That wasn’t an option in my mind. It was only saving you or dying along with you, and I know that’s codependent as fuck and unhealthy, but I don’t give a shit.” I smile over at him, and he cups my cheek with his other hand.

“I felt like I wasdyingas I raced to you. A race against time that I was so scared of losing.” When his voice breaks, I swallow the lump in my throat and give his hand another squeeze.

“But you won.”

He gives me a weak smile and leans his head against mine.

“I love you.” I let my eyes fall as I wait for him to say those same words back to me.

“I loveyou.” He kisses me softly before letting out a soft sigh and taking us home.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Sire

Ifeel around me onthe bed, then open my eyes when I don’t feel Vid near me.Ugh.I hate not waking up next to her. For the past week that we’ve been living together, waking up in her arms has been my new favorite thing on this earth.

I get up and walk into the bathroom to freshen up. Once I’m out of the shower and dressed, I run a hand through my damp hair, walking into the kitchen where I find Vid.

She has her back to me, talking to someone on her phone. She says something in Spanish, and my brows crease at how unsettled she sounds. As I get closer, it sounds like her mom on the other line, but I’m not sure. I’ve spoken to her on the phone twice since we last spoke, and both calls were tense. My Spanish is improving, though. I know all of the colors and can count to forty-nine. The twins say I’m practically bilingual… Hazel and Vidia do not.

I snake my arm around Vid’s waist, pulling her back to my front. “Good morning.” I kiss the crease of her neck.

“Morning.” She pulls her phone from her ear, and when she mutes it, I notice it’s her mom. “Wanna say hi?”

“Yeah, I think I can ask her how she’s doing too.” Vid smiles up at me, and I practice with her first. She unmutes the call and then tells her mom I’m here.

“Hola, Sire.” Her mom’s tone doesn’t sound as annoyed as the last time we spoke, so I take it as a win.

“Buenos días, como estás?” She is quiet for a second, and I look over at Vid, but she only smiles proudly.

“Bien… gracias por preguntar.” All I get from that is good and thank you, so I smile at the phone although she can’t see me. I know her mom speaks English fluently, but out of respect for her culture, I can at least learn to speak in her native language, so that’s what I’m doing.

She says something else, and I look over at Vid for translation. She shakes her head and then rolls her eyes, but I know it’s not at me when she looks back at her phone. “Yes, Mom, he really did move in with me.”

“Hmm.” I look between the phone and Vid, not sure of what to say. “Bueno…” I know that word means good, but she doesn’t say it like it’s good. I start to feel like it’s one of those words that have more than one meaning, like Vid was telling me.

She says something else, and I watch as Vidia presses her hand to her forehead. “It wasmyidea, Mom.”

“Mhm.”

Vid opens her mouth in response but quickly closes it, taking in a breath.

“Bueno, hablamos más tarde.”

“Ma, no. Don’t be like that cuando él está parado aquí mismo. That’s so rude.” I completely tune out whatever she’s saying and smile at the way she can switch between both languages like that.

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