Page 24 of The Plan

“It’s one day at a time, Sire.”

“Don’t you think I know that, Mom? I do, but each day is so much fucking harder than the one before.” Having to avoid liquor on top of pills is still new to me, and it’s fucking hard.

I let out a sigh at how harsh that came out and run a hand down my face. “I’m sorry for my tone. It’s just frustrating. Making it six years sober did not feel this hard, and now I can’t even make it to one damn year.” I only used oxy once since I relapsed four years ago, but I just can’t stay away from a fucking bottle.

She nods in understanding. “I think we both know why that is.” I huff in annoyance, my patience running thin.

“If you say it’s because I need to make amends, I—” I cut myself off because I know I’m not going to do shit if that’s what she’s going to say.

“It’s a part of getting clean but alsostayingclean. You know you need to make amends with not only Viddy but Lis, too.” I close my eyes at the sound of both their names.

Lisette was not only my old sponsor but also my rock. I’ve known her my entire life, and she’s a sister to me. We wereneighbors growing up, and when I met the twins and started to stay over at their place more often, naturally, she came over, too.

She even moved in with us for a while once I got adopted just so she could save up for her own place, which she did. She is as much of a sister to me as Sage is, and an adoption couldn’t have made us closer.

I haven’t really spoken to her much since I relapsed and said all that fucked up shit to her. Which was four fucking years ago. Of course, we’ve spoken and hung out here and there, but it hasn’t been the same.

I open my eyes again and look at one of the few people I didn’t fuck up with. I think I could commit murder, and she’d stand by me, maybe even hide the damn body and represent my innocence in court.

“You’ll make it there, but you have to put in the work, Sire. Go to meetings, reach out to your sponsor, stop being so stubborn, and ask for help.” We sit in silence for a few minutes, but I can’t handle being here anymore.

“I have to leave soon or Vidia’s going to be pissed that I’m late again. You can stay here if you want, but I think August and Hazel are next door.” We both stand at the same time, and my eyes land on the pill bottle.

She follows my eyes and then hands me the bottle. “I’m not going to force you to get rid of them. You have to want to do it yourself.” I know that, but I don’twantto get rid of them, and that’s the fucking problem.

I don’t take the bottle from her and hope she gets rid of them for me. I walk into my room to change into an all-black sweatsuit and get my things to leave.

When I walk back into the living room, she’s sitting on the couch doing something on her phone. “I’m ordering food. Do you have to leave this second, or can you eat a quick lunch with me?”

I look down at my watch, and I have about fifteen minutes to spare, but I need to get out of this house. “Can’t, sorry. I’ll see you later, okay?” She gives me a reassuring smile, and I grab my keys, walking out.

“Nice of you for beingon time for once.” I let out a sigh as Vidia walks in, but I don’t respond. I watch as she types something on her computer before turning to me. “You look like shit.”

I give her a bored expression.Yeah, I feel like shit.“Not today. Okay, Vidia?” My voice comes out just as tired as I feel, and she crosses her arms as she studies me. She must sense I’m really not in the mood because she doesn’t fuck with me anymore.

There's a knock at the door, and when she tells them to come in, some blonde kid enters. “Your phone finally turned back on. Here you go.” Her phone was dead? Is that why she didn’t answer, or does she just have me blocked?

He walks over to her, even though she’s already making her way to him, and nods toward me. “What's up, bro.” I ignore him because I fucking feel like it. He’s not mybro,and either way, he gives me a weird vibe. He turns back to Vid and watches her for too long before walking out.

She quickly scans through her screen and then looks up at me. “Why’d you call me earlier?”She got the call?She doesn’t have me blocked.

She waits for me to answer, so I quickly make up a lie. “Um, I was calling to let you know I was going to be late.”

“But you got here on time?”Shit. Right, uh…

“Yeah, well, I thought I was going to be late. Traffic cleared up.”

She gives me an unsure look but doesn’t question me again. Walking over to the middle of the room where the therapy balls are, she throws me the miniature blue one, and I catch it with ease.

“Start on this wall.” I walk over and start my reps. She gives a few different exercises, and that’s how the rest of our session goes. We surprisingly don’t fight or talk much at all.

We’re putting the therapy balls in a bucket, and when I feel her staring at me, I crack a smirk. “It’s not polite to stare, Vid.” She turns more serious, like she’s trying to figure something out. “What?”

“What was the real reason you called this morning?” I shrug and look away, but she notices like always. She notices everything. “Just say it, Sire.” She waits for me to answer, but when I don’t, she shakes her head and begins to walk out.

“You think you could—”No, don’t ask that of her.

She stops in her tracks and turns back around. “Can I do what, Sire?”

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