“I’ll always be here if you need me. All you have to do is say the words.”
I run my hand through my hair and just spit it out. “Can you come to a meeting with me?” She looks confused, and I immediately regret asking. “Never mind, I’m sure you have other patients. Sorry, I asked.” I quickly make my way out of the room but stop when she calls out to me.
“Sire, wait. I’ll go with you.”
“You don’t have to, Vid. It—”
“I want to.” I stare into her eyes, and she seems completely genuine. She wants to. She takes her white lab coat off, hangs it on a chair, and then tells me to meet her in the waiting room. I give her a quick nod and make my way out.
After a little under five minutes, she’s walking toward the receptionist. “Reschedule all of my appointments. A familyemergency came up.” Family? I shake it off before my brain thinks too much of it. Whatever, it's probably the only excuse that’ll let her leave.
She makes her way to me, but I notice her car keys in her hand. “Let's take my car. I need to keep myself busy.” She gives me an understanding nod, and we make our way to a meeting.
The entire drive, we don’t speak, but we don’t sit in an awkward silence either. It’s almost like we’re comfortable around each other, but that’s ridiculous, considering we can’t go a day without fighting.
As we pull up to the meeting, I turn the car off, but Vidia hesitates to take off her seatbelt.I knew I shouldn’t have asked her to come.I go to tell her to forget it, but she speaks before I do.
“Are outsiders allowed in?” She looks like she doesn’t want to intrude, and my lip twitches a bit, knowing she’s still that thoughtful person I remember.
“Yeah, Vid, it’s an open meeting today.” I double-checked to make sure. I wouldn’t have asked her if it wasn’t. She nods, then unbuckles her seatbelt and hops out of my car, and I take a deep breath before following her in.
The meeting starts a little differently since it’s an open meeting. A few people share who came with them today, but then it gets to me, and I almost don’t share until I remember what my mom told me. I need to put in the work.
“I’m Sire.” Everyone says hi to me, and I keep my eyes on the ground as I fiddle with the string of my hoodie. I take a few beats to add more, so our facilitator helps.
“I saw you walk in with someone, Sire. Would you like to share who came with you today?” I steal a quick glance at Vid before my eyes cut back to the ground.
“This is Vidia.” Everyone says hi to her, but when I’m asked what her relationship is to me, I can’t come up with an answer.We’re definitely not friends. I could say she’s my ex because she is, but that’ll be awkward for everyone.
“I’m his doctor,” Vidia speaks up from beside me when I take too long to answer.
“And why did you come with Sire today?” This time, I look over at her because I want to know that, too. Vidia looks at me and chuckles, almost nervously. My eyes cut down to her hands, and when I notice she’s spinning her ring, I realize she’s uncomfortable.
“Because he asked me to?”
“And why did you come? I’m sure you didn’t have to,” our facilitator pushes, saying exactly what I’m thinking, and Vid looks around the room, taking a few beats to respond.
“Because I care.” I go completely still. I swear I might be holding my breath. “I definitely shouldn’t, everything considered, but I do because even with what happened between us, I don’t have the heart to let that get in the way of his sobriety. Not again.” She adds the last part so softly. Almost like she only wanted me to hear it.
I’m still watching her when she looks over at me. I look between her eyes, a soft look in them I haven’t seen in a while. It’s a nice change, but then she looks away, and it’s like her guard goes up again.
I let out a soft sigh, and then I’m asked about how I’m doing, and I immediately want to leave. When I take more than five seconds to reply, Vid’s impatient ass kicks my shoe. “If I had to share, so do you,” she says, low enough just so I can hear.
I give her a small smile, and when she urges me with her eyes, I share what happened this morning and how I would’ve relapsed if Mom didn’t knock when she did.There she goes, saving me again.
The entire time I share, I feel Vid’s eyes on me, but not her usual glare I’ve gotten used to. She watches me like she cares.
“Thanks for that. I really appreciate you being there with me.” I’m surprised the meeting went as smoothly as it did. Then again, I’m also surprised she came with me.
She keeps her eyes out her window as she replies. “You’re welcome.” We sit in comfortable silence until we reach the parking lot of the doctor’s office. I pull up beside her car, but she doesn’t get out as soon as I thought she would.
She turns to me and goes to say something, then shakes her head like whatever it is is dumb. “Hm?” I hum, and her eyes meet mine as she tries again.
“This doesn’t mean we’re cool because I still can’t stand you.”
I let out a scoff and turn forward. And here I thought we were getting somewhere.
“But I meant it when I said…” I turn to her again at the softness in her voice. “I’ll always be here when it comes to this.” She looks in between my eyes, and she sounds so genuine that the weight in my chest finally lifts at her words. “Call me again if you need me. I’ll make sure my phone isn’t dead.”