Page 37 of The Plan

Four Years Earlier

You’re with yourboyfriend,” Sirecorrects me, but I don’t give him a reaction and finish off my phone call. As soon as I hang up, he turns to me like he’s waiting for me to explain something to him. “Why’d you say you’re studying with a friend?” He sounds so offended, and I let out a sigh.

“Because we’re studying?”

“Well I’m not one of your little friends, so stop saying that shit.”

I hold back a laugh at how pressed he is. “You sound like my mother.”

“You mean the mom who thinks I’m your boyfriend?” He heard Mami call him my “not boyfriend” and won’t let go of the fact that she knows we’re dating, so I may as well call him my boyfriend, his words, not mine.

“I already told her we’re just—” Did he just throw a damn pillow at me? I throw it back, but he catches it without even looking up. Stupid reflexes.

“Vid, we kissed. Your lips touched mine—you’re mine.” His? I don’t think so. It was one kiss anyway… One really good kiss, but that’s all it was, and it could be more, but he’s still stuck on us being official first.

I look back down at my computer, but I feel him watching me. I wait for a few beats because I know he’s going to say something any second now.

“Have I ever made you feel unsafe?”

I’m confused for a quick second until I realize where this is going. “No.” My eyes cut from his, and I close my computer and start to pack my things. “I should start heading home.”

“We’re in the middle of a conversation, Vidia.” We’re more so at the start of one, but I don’t want to talk about this with him. I go to grab my bag, but he gets it before I can and puts it on the other side of him. “We’re talking,” he says a bit more sternly, and I let out a sigh before sitting back in my seat, but I face forward instead of facing him.

“Maybe you don’t want to admit it to yourself yet, or maybe you don’t even know it, but it’s obvious you don’t want a relationship because you’re scared of getting hurt. Whether that be emotionally or physically.” I keep my eyes down on my hands as I play with my fingers.

He’s wrong about both of those things. I already knew that, and I already admitted it to myself. I’m fine with not dating until I get over this stupid fear of ending up like my parents. Whether that be when I’m twenty-five or later.

I feel the couch dip as Sire scooches closer to me, but I don’t look over at him. He places his hand over mine, stopping me from spinning my matching best friend ring Hazel got us a few years ago.

Slowly, he moves his hand to my chin and lightly grips it before turning my head so I’m looking at him. “I said it once and I’ll say it a million more times. I wouldn’t hurt you, Vid.”

I move my head to the side so I’m out of his grasp. “I know that, Sire.” I don’t know what he looks like when he’s mad; sure, we had that stupid fight at UC Davis last week, but I’m sure he can get angrier than that. Either way, I really don’t think he’ll put his hands on me. It’s not about him but more so about me.

“I don’t want to date you.” He looks offended at first, but then I blink, and he narrows his eyes as he studies me.

“You and I both know you want me, Vidia. Just admit it.” I shake my head at how cocky he sounds. I lean over him for my bag, but then his hands are on my waist, and he pulls me on top of him.

“What are you doing?” I look down at his hands on my hips, then back up at him, and he’s just staring at me like he’s trying to figure out what he wants to do.

“So you don’t want to date?” I let out a sigh, and I guess that’s enough of an answer for him since he goes on. “But you’re down for us messing around?”

I’m confused, and I’m sure my face shows it. He said it himself: he doesn’t want to do that unless we’re official or whatever. I study him for a beat before nodding.

He nods once, then his eyes travel down my body, and I feel each part of my skin that his eyes land on heat, like lasers are coming out of his eyes. He grabs my waist a bit tighter as he slides down in his seat and spreads his legs more so I’m sitting on him better. I feel my breath caught in my throat as I watch him watch me.

“So what does messing around entail?” he asks but doesn’t give me a chance to answer as he leans forward a bit. “I’d get to kiss you?”

He leans closer, and I give him a weak nod. “I’d get to touch you?” When I nod again, he snakes a hand in my shirt as the other travels down to my ass. A shiver passes over me at his touch.

“And we’d sleep together?” I go still for a beat and look between his eyes. He’s looking at me the same way he was in the car the other day. Like he’s a starved man, and I’m the only thing he wants to taste.

“We already sleep together,” I say breathlessly, referring to our naps, but only because I want to hear how it sounds when he says what he means. A smirk grows on his face, and his eyes cut to my lips before meeting my eyes again.

“Us messing around means I’d fuck you.” A gasp escapes my lips, and his smirk grows. “Right?”

I lick my lips before nodding and leaning in to close the distance between us, but just as my lips graze his, he leans back a bit.

“Would we still go on our dates?”

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