Page 114 of Without Fault

She lets out a sigh before shaking her head. “I told you it’s important to know her favorite flowers, Liam. Peonies are a great backup when you don’t know a girl's favorite, but it’s important to us girls that you guys know those things about us.”

She just thinks peonies are a good backup because they’reherfavorite, but I don’t say anything as she rambles on.

“Your father got me a gold watch the other day, and it was beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but Liam,” she gestures to all of the jewelry she’s wearing. “I’m a silver girl, and I don’t say this to be ungrateful, but it says a lot when men don’t notice those things. Learn her favorite flower, and don’t forget it.” She points after her words, and I shake my head at her.

“You're right. I'll be sure to ask her what her favorite flowers are.”

She nods with a smile, and a fist comes around my heart at the lost look in her eyes.

“I miss you, Mom.” I feel my smile slowly fading, and a lump so big forms in the back of my throat, I physically can’t swallow.

“Oh, honey.” She whispers, and I wrap my arms around her tightly.

“I’m so sorry.”I’m sorry you’re in here. I’m so fucking sorry Shanti isn’t here.“I’m sorry.” I squeeze my eyes shut when they start burning and bury my face in her hair. She holds me close as she rubs my back.

“It’s okay, baby. Whatever you did, we’ll fix it.”

I pull in a deep breath, and when she tries to pull away, I bring her back to me and hold her for another minute.

“Just tell me what happened, Liam. I won’t be angry.”

I shake my head softly before she pulls away.

“Nothing happened.”

She lets out a sigh as she watches me. “Did you get into a fight again?”

When I don't reply, she shakes her head disappointedly.

“Youmustlearn to control your anger, Liam. I tell you this all the time, and I’m going to keep saying it.”

I keep my gaze away from her, but from the corner of my eyes, I can see her watching me.

“Look at how your father–”

“Don’tcompare me to him, Mom.”

“Then don’t act like him.” Her words are soft, pleading almost, and it’s the only reason I don’t walk out. She takes my hand before kissing the back of it, and when I look over at her, she looks sad. “I miss you too.” She hugs my side and I wrap an arm around her shoulder as I pull her in.

We pull away after a minute, and she looks up at me knowingly. “I know you too well, sweetie. What's really on your mind?”

I shake my head in response and try to muster up a smile for her, but my face doesn’t budge. She keeps her eyes on me like she’s waiting for an answer, and I still wish I could turn back the clock and go back to the age when she was able to solve my biggest issues, so I tell her something else I've been thinking about.

“I need to tell Sage something, but I don’t know how she’ll take it.” I keep my eyes on the ground as I go on. “I don’t want to lose her, Mom. For the first time in a while, I feel…happy. She’s all I’ll ever want in this life and maybe even the next. I refuse to lose her. Even if that means I have to lie to keep her.”

“Oh no, don’t lie, sweetie.”

I keep my eyes on the ground because I can already tell the motherly look she’s giving me.

“Don’t doubt her love for you. Tell her the truth, and trust she’ll stay.”

She places her hand over mine, and I force myself to face her.

“Do what you want, but believe this: if she doesn’t hear it from your mouth, her reaction will be worse than you imagined.”

I think of her words and feel my stomach turning at the thought of Sage's reaction to her brothers hating me, but my mom is right; I need to tell her. I just don't know how.

“I don’t like it here, Liam.”

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