Page 105 of Losing Faith

“I’m not mad.” His clipped tone says otherwise.

“So what’s with the attitude?”

“You’re the only one who sounds like they have an attitude,” he counters. ”Watch it,” he warns now, voice low.

“Don’t tell me towatch it, Jackson. I’m not your kid.”

“You’re right. Neither of us are kids, so how about you lose the attitude and just say what your problem is?”

“I don’thavea problem. I’m trying to figure out whatyourproblem is. You’re barely looking at me and clearly upset, so how aboutyousay what your problem is?”

“Idon’t have a problem.” Herolls his eyes.Like agirl.

“Do you want a tampon to go with that sass? Or are you a pad guy?”

His eyes narrow at me before he lets out a frustrated breath.

“See.” I point at him. “Right there. The heavy breathing and eye-rolling. You’re mad at me. Just say it and stop making it seem like nothing. I hate that.”

“I’m not mad at you, Lisette. I’m mad at myself for letting you walk away,” he nearly shouts, and I’m stuck in place.

He lets out another breath as he runs his hand through his damp hair. “You know what? No. I am mad at you for thinking this won’t work.”

I let out a scoff. “Right, because this is a prime example of a happy couple.”

“People fight, Lisette. If you tried harder tocommunicate,maybe we wouldn’t.”

I roll my eyes at him. “Now I’m bad at communicating.”

“You are,” he shoots back.

Shaking my head, I point at him angrily. “You’rethe one who said we don’t need to figure this out right now. Why are you so pissy? As if I need to make up my mind right this second. I can’t give you that. Not right now.”

“I didn’t say this needed to happenright now. I know you have a lot going on, but don’t stand here and say you don’t see this working.”

“I don’t,” I counter. “Why can’t I feel that way and come back to it later?”

“Because I love you, Lisette!”

I go still and his eyes widen at his own words before he runs a hand down his face.

He shakes his head before his eyes meet mine. “I felt like I couldn’tbreathewhen we raced to your house last week. In the back of my head I kept thinking about what I was going to tell Isabelle and how I’m going to lose sleep thinking about what we could’ve been had I not let you go to Paris upset. I want you, Lisette. All of you and this doesn’t have to happen right this second, but it hurts hearing you don’t see what I see when Iknowyou do. You’re just scared and won’t tell me what it is that’s scaring you and I can’thelp.”

He sounds like he’s exhausted.

I shake my head at him, that fear from before growing again. “You’re not in love with me. You’ll resent me eventually.”I’m too broken,I don’t add.“I’m the epitome of messy, Jackson. That’s exactly why this won’t work. Not right now at least.”

“I said I love you.” He seems to be correcting me. “If you give me a damn chance, I’d love to fallinlove with you.”

I feel my heart racing in my chest as the panic of the thought attacks me. “Just forget everything after we got out of the pool. I’ll tutor your kid, cut back on calling you anything other than your name, and when she passes her next exam in a few weeks, we can go our separate ways.” I turn without another word, discarding my clothes in the washer.

I’m reaching the steps when I hear a set of footsteps catching up with me. “Wait.”

“Just drop it.”

“No.” He grabs my wrist, turning me to face him. “I don’t want to pretend this never happened. I don’t want us to go our separate ways after her exam.”

“This is a disaster waiting to happen. Why can’t youseethat?”Whycan’tyou see how broken I am?

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