Page 119 of Losing Faith

“There’s an A in there?” Her face scrunches as if I’m the one who’s wrong.

“Mhm.” I sound it out for her again, and after another try and some help, she spells it right. “So smart. You should add your brain to your thankful turkey.” I kiss her head before helping her spell skills. “Perfect.”

She smiles as she takes a new feather and writesMommy.

She steals a glance at me, biting back a smile as she glues her thankful feather to her turkey. “We’re going to negotiate the wedding,” she whispers. “Don’t worry. I don’t think you’re too smelly for Dad.”

I break into a laugh, and instead of bringing her hopes down, I take a feather and do the same, writing,My baby Bellewith a heart.

Her brows furrow and I bite back a smile.

“That’s not how you spell big girl,” she remarks and I break into another laugh.

Her grandma distracts her as she asks about her upcoming ballet classes. They have their conversation in Spanish and it surprises me how fluent Belle is.

My smile fades as I turn back to my one-haired turkey. Stealing a glance at Jackson, his says: My daughter, my parents, our new home, my health, my job, my sanity.

I stifle a laugh at his last one, knowing these turkey activities are driving him crazy too. It’s cute, but it’s getting to the point where we need to stop.

Jackson steals a glance at me, and as he takes another feather and bites back a smile, he looksjustlike his daughter. Or rather she looks like him.

He finishes writing and I look over at his thankful feather.

Lisette’s kisses.

I bite my cheek not to smile as he takes the glue and sticks the feather downside up so no one at the table can see what he wrote.

He grabs another feather, writing,Lisette shirtless.

I bite back a laugh as he glues that one downside up again.

The next feather says,Lisette’s smile,and I break. My smile beams as he glues that thankful feather right side up.

“So cheesy,” I mumble with an eye roll, but who am I kidding? Suddenly, I love cheesy.

“Add something to yours before you awaken The Holiday Monster,” Jackson whispers as he nods to his daughter, his eyes slightly widened.

I force a laugh, but as I try to think of something I’m thankful for, a weight settles in my chest as I’m reminded I’mnotthankful for anything I come up with. Not truly at least because deep down, I don’t want to be here, fighting for happiness each day, forcing a smile.

A hand squeezes mine and I see Jackson watching me in my peripheral, but I keep my eyes on my one-haired turkey.

“Come help me get more paper,” Jackson says loud enough for the table to hear as he pulls me to my feet.

As soon as we turn the corner, he pulls me into the bathroom and shuts the door.

“That look in your eyes is killing me, Lisette.” He sounds like he’s in pain, and I shake my head in response.

“This is what I meant, Jackson. My problems tarnishing you and your day. This is what you are signing up for.”

He shakes his head at me and almost looks tired of my words. “Do you want your feel-better kiss or not?” He brushes me off.

Not being stubborn enough to say no, I climb on my tippy toes, planting my hand on his chest to steady myself.

He closes the rest of the distance, bringing his lips to mine, his hands on my waist. This kiss is harder, like he’s punishing me for my words as he takes my bottom lip between his teeth.

A moan escapes me and he squeezes my waist in warning.

“Shh, sweetheart,” he hushes against my lips before his mouth covers mine again, gentle this time. My tongue runs along his bottom lip and he’s quick to open his mouth for me, capturing my tongue with his.

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