Page 154 of Losing Faith
I bite back a smile as she shakes her head at her brothers.
“I wassohappy to be there though. No one knew who I was.” She shakes her head at something else now. “Everyone at our main school knew who my mom was. She was the neighborhood crazy lady and word got around quickly.”
Her words are so emotionless now and I hold her closer as I let her get it off her chest.
“The new school was going well until she came to pick me up early. She was having agood dayand picked me up for a mommy and daughter date.” She pauses. “I remember being so anxious, I threw up all the lunch we had, and then her mood plummeted and she was back to her mean self.”
She keeps her finger on her scars, pinching them until her skin turns red. “When I got home, I was soangrythat she was my mom. I hated that I couldn’t live with Kat and the twins. I cut myself to upset her. She hated the sight of blood, so I was going to leave a mess in the bathroom, but when the blade dug into my skin… it was almost euphoric.”
When I hear her sniffles, I set the food aside and turn her so I can hug her. She wraps her arm around me and I plant a few kisses on the top of her head.
“Do you want to hurt yourself now?” I ask gently.
She only shrugs in return, so I simply hold her.
“How do I help on the high and low days, baby?”
She shakes her head. “Just be you.” She looks up at me and I press my lips to hers. After a beat, she pulls away and I wipe her tears.
“Please don’t shut me out.” I kiss her cheek. “If you want to hurt yourself, we can find something else for that euphoric feeling, okay?”
She nods, but I can’t tell what she’s thinking.
I press my forehead against hers. “Just say PG-13 and I’ll understand,” I suggest, understanding that voicing otherwise might be too hard.
She nods again, a small smile on her lips. Turning around, she settles on my lap. She presses her back to my chest again as I finish helping her eat.
There’s a knock on the door downstairs and I kiss her neck before getting up. “Go brush your teeth. I’ll have breakfast with Belle up here.” I kiss her nose before going downstairs.
When I open the door, a smile I don’t even need to force reaches my lips as Isabelle leaps into my arms.
“Good morning, Daddy.”
I hold her tight as I blow a raspberry in her neck. “Good morning, my sweet love.” I kiss the top of her head as I hold her in one arm. Pulling away, I look over at Sire, who doesn’t look happy to see me.
“Thanks for dropping her off.” I shift my weight between my feet uncomfortably.
He turns to Belle and trades his glare for a smile. “Tell Daddy that joke I told you.” His smile grows.
I turn to Belle, suspicion pulling at me.
She stifles a laugh as she clears her throat. “Knock knock.”
My eyes narrow. “Who’s there?”
“Lettuce.” She laughs harder.
“Lettuce who?”
“Lettuce in. It’s fucking freezing out here!”
Sire breaks into a laugh with her. I bite back my smile as I nod at the pair, taking this as my punishment for going out with his little sister.
“How about the other one?” Sire asks proudly.
“Knock knock.” Belle laughs, barely getting her words out.
“No, I think we’re done. Thank—”
