Page 164 of Losing Faith

Ending the call, I let out a long breath, my head falling to the ground.

“That bad?” Bay voices from behind me.

I turn on my heels, shrugging mindlessly. “He’s so perfect and forgiving.” I shake my head at myself and hold back from saying I don’t deserve him because I know what she’s going to say, I just need to believe it.

Chapter Fifty

Lisette

WhenJacksonopensthedoorfor me, I’m surprised he looks so happy to see me.

“Hey,” I smile up at him before stepping inside. “Where’s my star student?” I look around for her, my excitement building. I know it’s only been two days, but I miss her.

Before I can walk off to find her, Jackson pulls my hand, dragging me back to face him. He looks between my eyes and it’s clear he wants to say something.

“I want to talk to you about something before she comes downstairs.”

He watches me carefully and I hate the fear in the pit of my stomach as I think of him ending things.

“I know I already spoke to you over the phone, but I wanted to say this part in person.”

“Okay…” I look at him, my heart rate picking up.

His shoulders sink and so does my heart. “I need to put my daughter before all else,” he starts. “You told me you were scared of hurting her and I said I wouldn’t let that happen… I meant that.”

I nod in return. “I know.”

He nods slowly. “So… I think we should limit the time you spend with her.”

I go still, forcing myself not to react, my pride refusing to show an ounce of my hurt.

“We should go back to you only coming over for our regular tutoring schedule. As for staying for dinner and stuff… we should cut back on that. When your tutoring sessions are over, that’ll conclude our day together.” He hesitates now. “I’m also not comfortable with you supervising her alone.”

I nod, forcing the lump down my throat. “That’s fair.” I rapidly blink away my tears.

He looks between my eyes. “Wecan still hang out. I’m not trying to punish you here, sweetheart. I don’t want you to hate yourself for relapsing.” He takes my hand, but it’s too late for that. I’m beyond hating myself.

He goes on, trying to make me feel better with his explanation. “I wouldn’t forgive myself if I turned a blind eye on this. It was… a wake up call, and I don’t think you’re incapable of being alone with her. That’s just something we have to work towards again. At the end of the day, she’s mybaby,Lissy.”

“Got it.” I step away.

He pulls me back to him. “Please say something.”

I shrug. “I can’t be mad at you, JJ. You’re just being a good dad. You don’t trust me and that’s understandable.” I force a smile before quickly wiping my tears and his face falls. “I know I’m here to tutor her, but why tell me to come over if you want to put more space between us?”

“She knows it’s tutoring day and asked for you. When you were late, she said it was because I yelled at you and I don’t want her to think I didn’t apologize to you.” His eyes scan my face. “I think I had every right to be upset, but I’m sorry for raising my voice the way I did.”

I nod in return, but when another tear falls on my face, he tilts his head to the side before wrapping his arms around my head. I swallow my cry, a few silent tears falling on my face.

He kisses the top of my head and I wrap my arms around him. When he pulls away, I keep my eyes low as I wipe my tears.

“Areweokay?” he whispers.

I pull in a deep breath before turning to him. “Doyouwant to put this on pause?” My voice breaks and I want the ground to cave in under me, swallowing me whole.

“No, mi reina.” He takes my hand, squeezing it gently.

A broken smile touches my lips at his name for me as I shrug in return. “So… I guess we’re good.”

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