Page 165 of Losing Faith

He nods gently before kissing my hand four times.

“I’m going to use the bathroom.” I pull my hand away.

He looks like he feels like shit, but I don’t say anything because there’s nothing more to say.

I walk over to the bathroom and take a minute to get myself together. I splash some cold water on my face before looking at my puffy eyes in the mirror. I stare at my reflection, but my vision begins to blur again.

Pulling out my phone, I sit on the toilet seat and I FaceTime Bay.

On the first ring she answers, and her face falls when she sees me. “Do you want me to pick you up?”

I shake my head, turning the water back on to drown my cry.

“What’d he say?” She watches me carefully. “If it was out of line, I can get my cousins to kick his ass.”

I squeeze my eyes shut before shaking my head. When I feel another sob coming, I bite down on my tongue.

After a minute or so, I force the lump down my throat and get my breathing together. “He—” I hiccup. “He thinks I–I should spend less time with her.” I look up at the ceiling, biting my tongue again.

On the other end, she lets out a sigh. “He’s not enabling your behavior. That’s good.”

I nod, trying to see it that way.

“I know it hurts, Lis, butfeelit. You get five minutes to feel it, and the next time you want to drink around his little girl, you’ll feel these five minutes first.”

I bury my face in my palm as I soak in the disappointment. This is my fault and it hurts more that I can’t blame this on him. I try to remind myself that he’snotpunishing me. He’s putting his baby girl first and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Him being right doesn’t make it hurt any less though.

“Alright,” Bay says over my cry. “Your five minutes are up.”

I blink my tears away and stand from the toilet to rinse my face off. When I dry my face, I grab my phone and she looks back at me, a knowing look on her face.

“Get your shit together so you can be a good mom,” she voices the words I once said to her.

I nod in return, pulling in a deep breath. “Thanks.”

She smiles in return before I hang up. Stepping out of the bathroom, I hear a gasp.

“Lissy,” Isabelle calls out to me and it mends the broken pieces in me as she races her way down the steps.

I make my way to her, and when she has three steps left, she leaps off the stairs and into the air. My heart gets lodged in my throat when she lands wrong and tumbles to the ground.

“Jesus.” I hurry to her, but she stands to her feet just as fast as she falls.

“I’m okay.” She smiles up at me before her face falls. “Oh, were you crying?” Her brows furrow before clarity fills her face. “Are you feeling a little sad?” She pats my hand gently.

I let out a laugh as I kiss her head. “I’m feeling a lot sad, sweet girl,” I admit.

She pouts before opening her arms out to me. “Come here.”

I waste no time lifting her into my arms.

She cups my face before staring into my eyes. “Is someone mind being mean to you?”

I shake my head gently. “Just my own mind.”

“We should kill it with kindness.” She holds my head. “I love you very much. You’re the bestest, most beautiful mind ever!” She seems to be tellingmy mindand I break into a laugh when she kisses my forehead. She hugs me and I hold her tighter as I blink my tears away.

I can feel Jackson come up next to us, but I keep my eyes closed. He wraps an arm around me and kisses my head. “I love you,” he whispers into my hair. “I’m sorry.” His voice is so quiet against my hair, I almost don’t hear him.

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