Page 17 of Losing Faith

“Lissy!” She rushes over to me and I muster a smile.

“Hey, kiddo.” I glance over at Sire and immediately, his face drops as he closes the distance between us.

“What happened?”

I shake my head in response before Isabelle pulls my hand.

“Youhaveto see my test score.” She pulls her bag off her shoulder.

“This was the weekly spelling test we were practicing for?”

She nods excitedly as she ravages through her folder. Sire has officially passed her on to me for her tutoring and we’ve been working together for the last few days. I didn’t mind since she’s a good kid and easy to work with, but I mentally cannot sit and work with her today.

I feel Sire watching me, but he doesn't say anything as Isabelle holds up her test to me.

“Three out of five?” I look down at her before offering a high five. “Nice job, kiddo. We’re going to aim for a four next week.” I try to add as much enthusiasm into my voice, but she barely notices the lack of it as she gets distracted with Athena, who walks over to lick her face.

“Sire is going to work with you today, okay?”

“Okay.” She giggles as the dog licks her hand.

“What?” Sire takes a step towards me. “You’re not staying?”

I shake my head before turning to leave, but Jackson is standing there.

“What happened?” Jackson voices now.

Keeping my eyes down, I simply walk around him, but I only make it two steps before I notice he’s following me. “Were you crying?”

“Why do you care, Jackson?” I press the elevator and keep my eyes forward, but I feel his gaze on me.

“Is it illegal to care?”

I don’t answer and he’s quiet for a beat before he says, “Is itjustJackson now?”

I let out a tired breath as I turn to him. “What do you want from me?”

His eyes scan my face before his brows slightly furrow. “Nothing.” He shakes his head as he takes a step back, the teasing tone nowhere in sight. “I was just trying to make you feel better. Thank you for helping Belle study for her test. I would appreciate it if you’d continue tutoring her until her next assessment in December, but if you’d rather not, I understand.”

I roll my eyes as I turn to the elevator. “I didn’t say I was going to quit tutoring her. I just can’t today.” The doors open and I don’t bother waiting for his response as I step in.

I press the button for the lobby. My mind is finally blank as I walk to my car, but every step feels so pointless. Slipping into my car, I take out the small bottle of liquor Sire gave me last week.

I stare at the liquor in my hand, clutching it like a lifeline as the need for a drink becomes nearly suffocating. I’m about to twist the top off when Ana’s voice rings in my head. I go still as I soak in anger rather than despair.

“I’m notjustan addict,” I tell myself, but I don’t believe it.

Resting my head back, I keep my eyes on the liquor as my mind starts to go numb.

I snap out of my thoughts when I get a text and I only check it because the ringtone tells me it’s one of my siblings.

Biggest Loser

I know you’re not okay. I can reschedule Isa’s tutoring if you need a meeting.

No, don’t reschedule with her. She looked so happy to see you.

She was happy to see you too.

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