Page 171 of Losing Faith

Liam puts his hands up in defense and Sage answers before he can defend himself.

“I wouldn’t yell at her if shewhackedtheir hand away from danger. That’s not abuse.”

Liam shrugs again. “I’m not letting anyone hit my damn kid. I don’t care if they burned the house down, they’rekids.I’m going through too many hours of therapy to be a good dad for her to come out of nowhere to do something I would never do.”

Sage focuses on him, a hint of a smile on her lips.

Liam turns to me again. “Like I said, I don’t know the guy, but why was your first reaction to hit her?”

Sage’s eyes soften as she watches me, and I feel my face heat in embarrassment as it dawns on me that my first reaction was to hit her. I shake my head at myself before burying my face on the couch.

“I’m going to be a horrible mom to that little girl.” I feel my eyes prickling with tears. “I can’t do this,” I whisper to myself, silently wishing I had taken more than one pill.

“You want to be her mom?” Sage sounds like she’s smiling, but her words only make me feel worse because Iwantedto.

No one says anything, and when I’m able to keep the tears at bay, I lift my head from the couch, but Sage reads right through me as she rises from her seat to sit beside me.

“I think you’re going to be an amazing mom.”

“Bullshit.” I let out a scoff as I lay my head on her shoulder. “I got hit for talking too loud during my dad’s basketball games, for not passing him a bottle quickly enough, or for hiding my mom’s drugs so she wouldn’t get high. That’s all I know, and I know it’s wrong, but look at how it wasinstincttohither.”

My chest begins to hurt as I realize for the hundredth time, I’m too damaged.

“That stuff isn’t genetic and I think if you try hard enough, you can not only break the generational trauma, but heal your inner child by raising Isa.”

I let out a defeated sigh, but as she goes on listing all of my redeeming qualities, a warmth engulfs me before I feel my limbs start to loosen. Relief rushes through me as I sink into my seat.

“Oh, you okay?” Sage voices, and I nod in return as I lay my head on her lap. I keep my gaze on her pretty smile as she plays with my hair. She blurs in and out of focus, and for a split second the conscious part of my brain begins to panic before that goes quiet too.

“I’m so sorry,” I mumble, reaching forward to touch one of her braids, but I think I miss.

“What?” Sage looks confused as she focuses on me. “Did you say you’re sorry?” She gives me a once-over before shifting in her seat.

I nod in return, blinking slowly.

“Lissy?” She moves again. “Lisette, did you take something?” She shakes me harder and I let out an annoyed breath as I open my eyes, shaking my head no.

“Babe, help!” She moves me again before Liam stands over me. They sit me up and I try to shrug them off but Liam grabs my face.

“What did you take?”

“Nothing.” I shove his hand away from my face before leaning my back on the couch again.

He’s about to say something, but there’s a knock on the door and Sage rushes out.

“Lisette, open your eyes,” Liam nearly yells and I open my eyes again to glare at him.

“I’m awake. I’m fine.”

“Where is she?” Sire’s voice fills the room and I shake my head at myself.

He kneels in front of me, holding my face in his hand. “What did you take?”

I shove his hand away, forcing myself to sit upright. “Nothing.”

“Bull fucking shit, Lisette.” Sire looks frantically at me before patting me down. “How did you take it? Did you smoke it again?”

I let out a scoff, a smile tugging on my lips. “Do you want some?”

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