Page 185 of Losing Faith

“Why are you kissing me so much?”

“I missed you.” I hug her tighter and she lets out an exaggerated groan.

“You’re crushing me!”

I’m not, but I hold her tighter before pulling away. She acts like she can’t breathe and I let out a laugh as we settle on the couch. Her dad walks in after us and drops my art supplies on the ground by the entrance of the living room. We decided I’d paint with Belle until she needs to go to bed, and as much as I want to sleepover, I don’t set myself up for disappointment by asking him.

“Daddy.” Isabelle looks over at him with a smile.

Jackson looks over at us, his bored look set on her. “Don’t ask me for anything. You were not behaving nice in the car ride here and I don’t appreciate that.”

She raises one brow dramatically as she holds her chest. “Idon’t appreciate the attitude.”

He shakes his head at her as he walks over to me. I expect him to take her from me, but he instead, brushes a hair behind my hair. “You hungry?”

I bite back a smile as I shake my head. I can feel Isabelle watching us and I slowly turn to look at her.

“So…” she smiles at me, and it’s clear as day she wants something.

“Leave me alone.” I stick my tongue out at her before tossing her aside and climbing off of the couch. She laughs from behind me as Jackson flops beside her.

That familiar feeling tugs at the pit of my stomach and as I try to push it away, a wave of heat flashes past me. My heart races and I try to calm my breathing as I walk to the kitchen, desperate for a minute alone to collect my thoughts.

I pace around the kitchen island twice as I weigh my options, silently fighting a mental battle to stay here with Isabelle rather than running off.

“Hey.”

I jump out of my thoughts, turning to Jackson, who’s leaning against the island, watching me carefully.

“What’s with the pacing?” His eyes narrow as he scans my face.

I shake my head mindlessly, pulling my hand away from my mouth to answer him. “I’m fine.” I muster a smile but the concerned look on his face only deepens.

He closes the space between us and pulls my fingernails away from my teeth. “I’m going to ask you again, and I need you to answer me honestly this time.” He looks into my eyes before he nods.

“What’s with the pacing?” he asks again, his tone just as gentle as before.

I shake my head as I bite at my nails again. “I really thought I could do this, Jackson.” I press my palms to my eyes as my heart rate quickens again and I can feel myself nearly drowning in sweat.

“I thought seeing her would help, and itdid. I swear it did. I just—” I cut myself off as I take a step away from him, but he grabs my hand before I can put more distance between us.

“You’re going through withdrawals.” He nods in understanding and I let out a breath of relief for not having to admit it.

“I just need to shut it up.” I nod quickly at the idea. “I’m just going to step out to get my head on straight.” I lean forward to plant a kiss on his lips. “I’ll be right back.”

I force a smile as I move to go around him, but he steps in my way.

“Can you promise me you’re going to come back sober?”

I go still and I feel him watching me, but I keep my eyes on his shirt. All of my emotions are being pulled at once and I settle on anger as I look up at him.

“Do you think I won’t? Because you said you’ll be my solace and this doesn’t feel like that,” I bite out.

I wait for him to fight back and give me an excuse to leave, but his face remains neutral. “This is the withdrawals, so I’m going to let the attitude slide, but if you don’t lower your voice, we’re going to have a problem.”

I open my mouth, but it quickly falls shut at the sight of his glare.

He nods once as he continues. “Withdrawals or not, nothing you need to say needs to be said over the volume I’m currently using. Do you understand that?”

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