Page 80 of Losing Faith

“Do you want to talk about what happened after we left the park?” I ask quietly, feeling for if she stiffens or shifts uncomfortably, but she doesn’t.

“I’m an addict, Jackson.”

I feel my brows furrow as I look up at her and she looks like she hates herself. “You’re sober,” I voice, her words from yesterday making sense.

She nods, her eyes low.

Tilting her chin up, I force her to look at me. “You should be proud of that.”

She doesn’t say anything, but she looks exhausted, so I lay my head on her again and hug her close. This girl is full of so much life. She lights up every room she walks into, and it physically pains me that she hurts enough to hurt herself.

“Nothing happened,” she speaks up again. “I’m just an addict. Everything chronically hurts and I can’t take anything for the pain.”

“You’re not just an addict.”

She doesn’t respond, but I can hear her suck her teeth.

“You’renot,” I say more sternly as I hug her waist close. “You’re funny. You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You care about the fucked up shit in the world. You’re a good person. You’re an amazing sister and friend. You’re a talented artist. You’re arecoveringaddict, but that’s not all you are.”

She rubs my back gently now. “I’m also great in bed.”

I shake my head at her, but I don’t let her brush her pain under the rug with a joke. “Say it.” I pick my head up to look at her. “You’re not just an addict.”

She meets my eyes before pushing my wet hair off of my forehead. “I’m not just an addict.”

I give her a knowing look. “Like you mean it.”

She looks like she’s being tortured, but after a minute, she sits up straighter and holds her head high. “I’mnotjust an addict.”

“Good girl.” I kiss her hand and a blush slowly covers her face. Biting back a smile, I kiss her stomach before laying my head on her lap again. “I think you want to have sex with me more than I want to with you.”

She lets out a scoff, but I can feel her breathing faster. “So you’re admitting you want to have sex with me?”

I shrug. “Take your shirt off so I can see what we’re working with.”

She doesn’t miss a beat as she pulls her top off. I keep my head on her lap, not trusting myself to look at her.

“I hope you’re wearing a bra.”

“No, you don’t.”

When I don’t reply, her laugh touches my ears.

“Look at me.” She pulls my head up, and reluctantly, I let my eyes roam over to her. She’s in a sports bra and her perfect smile is on display. “Tell me I look pretty.” Her tone is as serious as ever although her smile is teasing.

“You look pretty.”

“And I’m the most gorgeous girl you’ve ever seen,” she adds.

I lean forward and kiss her chest. “You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.”

She pats my head. “You’re so well trained. Who’s a good boy?”

I break into a laugh before splashing water on her.

When our laughs sober, she runs a hand through my hair. “Why areyouhaving a bad day?”

I feel my shoulders sag before wrapping my arms around her again, wanting her closer. “Belle’s school.”

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