Page 86 of Losing Faith

“Are you shaming sex workers?” I slip past him and I smile to myself when I feel his heated gaze on me.

“Not at all.” He walks beside me. “They can do what they want, but you won’t be participating in the fun.”

I halt my steps as I turn to him. “Until you step up to my brother and fuck me like you own me, I’m not doing a single thing you tell me to.”

His eyes narrow as he watches me, and I quickly find myself regretting my words. He takes a step towards me, his eyes full of something dangerous. I take a step back and he stalks towards me until my feet hit the couch.

“Sit.”

I’m sat without a word.

“Lean back.” He nods for the back of the couch and I scoot back. A smile touches his lips as he rests a hand beside my head and slowly leans in. My eyes are on his lips until he tilts my chin up. “What was that about you not doing a single thing I tell you to?”

I scoff at his smirk. “That was for my benefit, JJ. Are you going to reward me, or should I go somewhere else?”

He cups my face before rubbing my bottom lip with his thumb. “Why do you look like you were crying, sweetheart?”

I try to move out of his grasp, but he holds me tighter.

“What happened?” He looks at me, trying to get something I’ll never give.

“Are you going to give me what I want or not?”

He watches me carefully before placing a gentle kiss on my lips. It’s soft and safe and not what I want, but he pulls away before I can deepen the kiss. “You’re clearly upset and I’m glad you’re here. We can talk if you want to or we can sit in silence, but if you came to fuck out your feelings, it’s not happening.”

I move his hand away before standing. “Thanks for not wasting my time.” I take a step, but he grabs my arm.

“Lisette, wait.”

I pull my arm away but he steps in my way.

“Stay,” he pleads.

“Jackson, I’m not staying if we’re not having sex.” I spell it out for him. “I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you and act like I came here for anything else. I think we can both agree we’re too grown for the games and PG-13 shit.”

His shoulders slouch in defeat. “Can you just talk to me?”

“I didn’t come totalk.” I snap, tears building in my eyes again. “I don’t want to feel it, Jackson. I want to feel something else. That something is not here and that’s fine. I’ll see you for tutoring when I get back from my trip.”

“What trip?”

“Sage has a fashion show, we’re going to Paris.” I register how monotone my voice comes out, but I’m too tired to care. I try to step around him, but he gets in my way again and I let my eyes fall shut when the tears don’t stop.

I feel his arms wrap around me and I break. Everything in me shatters as a sob rips out of me. My knees go weak, but he doesn’t let me fall. I cling to him as he lifts me into his arms.

We settle on the couch, and I wrap my arms around him before every thought spills past my lips.

“I don’t want to do this anymore.” I shake my head when the pain intensifies and he rubs my back before smoothing my hair.

“You’re okay, I got you.”

I cry harder and he holds me tighter. “I can’t. I don’t want to be here. I’m so fucking done.”

I feel him go still before he pulls away. Holding my face in his hand, he wipes my tears. “What does that mean?”

I shake my head, but as I try to pull away, his grip tightens.

“I’m only going to ask one time,” he starts gently. He seems to hesitate now before he pulls in a breath for courage. “Are you talking about killing yourself?”

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