Page 90 of Losing Faith

“You’re going to stay with me and Vid for a while.”

I let out a breath of relief at his words. “No, I’m—”

“I just said we’re not fighting.” He stands from where he is on my bed. He glances over at my nightstand, his jaw clenching. “Since when did you start fucking smoking this shit?” He swipes everything off the table and I jump at his outburst, his voice nearly bouncing off the walls.

He runs his hand down his face as he calms his breathing. “The ambulance is on their way.” He breaks the silence. “When you’re discharged, you’re coming home with me.”

He doesn’t let me reply as he storms out. “I need some air.” He walks out and I decide to fight with him later.

Vidia pulls me in for a hug next, and when I hear her sniffing, I hug her back before whispering in her ear. “Tell him I’m sorry.”

“He knows you are, baby.” She holds me tighter, kissing my shoulder. “But you need to be the one to say it and you need to accept his help.”

She pulls away and my eyes cut down to my bed sheets. Vidia takes my hand, but I keep my eyes low as she starts. “He’s not going to sleep if you don’t come home with us, Lis. If not for yourself, then do it for your brother.” She squeezes my hand and I nod in return, knowing she’s right.

I feel Jackson watching me, but I keep my eyes on my bed as I pull on a loose piece of thread.

“What happened?” Jackson asks so quietly that I almost don’t hear him.

I glance over at him and the broken look in his eyes has me looking back at my bedsheets. “What do you mean?” I don’t know why I whisper, but I do.

“I mean the last time I saw you, you weren’t exactly doing well, then you just disappeared for a week, so I need to know what happened.”

I see him shaking his head in my peripheral.

“Was it something I said? I tried to help, but I didn’t know exactly what to do.” He shakes his head as his eyes fall on the ground. “I should’ve called someone.” He keeps his voice low and I swallow the lump in my throat. I glance up at Vidia and she gives me a single nod before standing.

“I’m going to go find your brother.” She kisses my forehead before walking out.

I watch her go and glance at Jackson again before looking back down. It isn’t until I hear my front door shut that I speak up. “It wasn’t you,” I quickly clarify. “Thank you for that night and thank you for not telling anyone, but I was just having a bad night. The need for this…” I glance at the pills on the floor before shaking my head at myself. “I slipped today because it felt like I had no other option, but I truly didn’t mean for it to go this far,” I say, trying to believe that myself.

The room is quiet for too long, so I look over at him, and he’s still watching me.

“I wasn’t lying.”

I feel my brows furrow at his words. “What?”

“You have an escape with me. I’m not trying to be your knight in shining armor, but if I can offer you a few hours of bliss, why didn’t you just come to hang out with me?”

I look between his eyes before shaking my head at him. “I didn’t want to be a burden, JJ.”

This time, he shakes his head at my words. “You’re not.”

“Aren’t I though?” I gesture around the room, to what he just walked in on. “What are we doing, Jackson?” My voice is stronger now and his brows furrow.

“What do you mean?”

“No, what doyoumean? You said you and Belle can be my reason to get out of bed, what does that mean? You’ll be my friend? Because the jealous act you just pulled doesn’t make me think that’s what you want.”

“And you never talk to me like friends is whatyouwant.” He pushes off from the wall. “Did he touch you?” His eyes darken as he studies me.

I let out a scoff at his words. “What does that matter?”

“It matters a great deal considering you wereunconscious.”

I roll my eyes at what he’s making this out to be and quickly clear the air before he gets my brother involved who is bound to drag our parents into this. “I invited him here for the pills. I was already wearing this and he went to shower, hence him being half naked. I smoked, and you guys walked in a few minutes later.”

He watches me carefully. “So you just let strangers use your shower?”

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