Page 91 of Losing Faith

“I never said he was a stranger.” Ben is who I get my pills from. Yes, we’ve slept together in thepast,but that’s irrelevant. “Why do you care so much?”

“You’re the one asking what we are,” he shoots back. “Why ask if I can’t know who you’re sleeping with?”

“Because you shouldn’t be here, Jackson,” I snap.

He looks hurt, but I don’t take my words back.

“Thank you for caring. Thank yousomuch, but look at your life and look at mine,” I deadpan. “You and Belle can’t be my reason to stay. I don’t belong in your life, friend or not, and who I’m sleeping with is none of your concern because we’re not together and shouldn’t be.”

He shakes his head before letting out a scoff. “Don’t do that.”

“I’m notdoinganything.”

“Yeah, you are. You’re pushing me away when you don’t need to.”

Yes, I do.The last few weeks with Jackson have been bliss, but I can’t do this; not when hurting them is inevitable.

I hear him let out a defeated breath before he closes the distance between us. “My kidlovesyou, and I’ve been told she’s a brat, so you’re stuck with her. We’re kind of a package deal, so there’s no pushing me away.”

“You two shouldn’t like me,” I state flatly, desperately trying to get him to stop. To leave me before it gets uglier.

“Well, we do, so sue us. We have a great lawyer.”

A smile touches my lips and I shake my head at him, but he holds my chin, dragging my eyes up to his. “Why is it so hard to grasp that you’re likable?”

“I’ve been told overdosing on a Tuesday afternoon isn’t a likable trait.”

A somber smile touches his lips. “It’s Wednesday, sweetheart.” He sounds hurt as he tucks a hair behind my ear but I pull away again.

“What do you want from me, Jackson?”

“You. Just you.” He reaches for my face but I don’t let him.

“What does thatmean?” I push. “Because you’re looking at me like you want more than what I’m offering.”

His brows furrow before his eyes fill with clarity, but I still say it plainly for him.

“I can’t be a mom to her, Jackson.”

He leans back. “I’m not asking you to.”

“What would I be to her if we dated?” I go on before he can answer. “Or is the plan for us to be fuck buddies until her exam comes in December, then we go our separate ways?”

He lets out a scoff as he stands from the bed. “Is thatyourplan?”

“It’s the easier plan,” I force out.

“Is that what you think I meant when I said I wanted you?” He looks between my eyes. “You thinksexis the reason I asked you out? Called out of work and moved all my meetings around just to spend the day with you? To get my dick wet?”

I know that’s not why he wanted me around, but any other option scares the shit out of me.

When I don’t answer, he goes on.

“So you don’t want my kid in your life?”

“That’s not what I said,” I counter.

“It is though,” he argues. “I would never ask you to take that responsibility, but don’t sit here and act like my daughter is the reason you won’t give us a chance.”

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