Page 95 of Losing Faith

“Can we stop fighting about our Thanksgiving plans? You’re coming with us to Florida.”

“Shutup, Sire. I’m not going over there. I don’t even know Vidia and Hazel’s family.” My leg starts shaking as my irritation grows and he stops trying to convince me of the same thing he’s been trying to convince me of all day.

He’s leaving for Florida tonight since Thanksgiving is in two days, but I already told him I’m not going.

I remind myself that it’s just the withdrawals pulling at my emotions and harsh attitude, but I can’t bring myself to apologize, so we sit in silence.

When I hear the door opening, I look over and Vidia walks in with a smile. She looks over at Sire before smiling brighter at me. “How are you feeling?”

I stare at her for a beat before closing my eyes and choosing to use the last bit of patience I have to ignore her.

I’ve been here for five days and I only left three times, which was to go to a meeting with Sire, who’s my new babysitter. I know he’s worried. Iunderstandthat, but I can’t breathe.

Jackson came over with Isabelle twice for our tutoring, but besides a hi and bye, Jackson barely spoke to me since my siblings are hovering like a fucking—

I cut off my thoughts as I feel myself getting mad.

They’re hovering like concerned siblings,I tell myself and remember to be grateful that August and Sagefinallydecided to put an end to the three-day streak sleepover. I adore them, don’t get me wrong, but Ihatehovering, especially while my body feels like it’s eating me from the inside out.

Then Harmony has been texting me off the fucking rails. I haven’t seen her in a while, mainly because I was MIA from everyone and getting high, but I also don’t want to hear her bullshit. I love her, I really do but I loveher,not her mom and her sister. I just want to be left alone.

She keeps apologizing for the shit show and I told her countless times it wasn’t her fault, but she’s convinced that’s the reason I’m avoiding her. It’s not, I just can’t face her and tell her I relapsed.

I take in a deep breath and use the next few minutes to meditate. Just as I start to appreciate how silent the house is, a phone starts ringing. I shake my head as I open my eyes and I realize it’s my phone.

When I see Jackson’s name, I feel my brows furrow. I grab my phone anyway and bring it to my ear. “Hello?”

“Hi, Lissy.”

My heartachesat the sound of Isabelle’s sweet voice. I open my mouth to greet her but have to clear my throat before trying again. “Hello, my sweet girl.”

“Daddy said you’re busy, so I took his phone because Isuspectedhe was being a fibber since you’re never busy for me.”

I bite back my laugh. “That’s very true. What’s up, baby?”

“Daddy has a meeting and wants to cancel tutoring because you might not be feeling well. The meeting is here in our office and he can’t drive me to you.” She pauses and I imagine her rolling her eyes. “You can come here, right?”

“I sure can.” I sit up in my seat.

“Perfect.”

I hear Jackson call out to her in the background before he asks her if she’s seen his phone. She stifles a laugh before speaking up again.

“Okay, hurry.” She ends the call before I can reply and I can’t help but laugh at her.

Sire looks over at me and is already shaking his head. “Lis—”

“Stop, Sire. Please, okay?Yes, I do want to go get high. You’re right, but right now, I want to see Isabelle more than that, so I’m going to get ready and go read and maybe bake with her for the next three hours.”

He studies me and I can see he wants to continue to hold me hostage here, so I continue to convince him otherwise.

“I’m supposed to be finding new coping mechanisms and getting back into my routine. Turning to healthy outlets when I get the urge to throw it all away,” I remind him and I know he knows I’m right.

“Fine.” He gives in. “But I’m dropping you off,” he adds.

I roll my eyes at him but agree. “Fine.”

“And picking you up.”

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