Page 54 of Warlords, Witches & Wolves

It could be so easy to stay and give himself to Absolon totally. But there would always be this difference between them: Absolon’s strength and immortality versus Ragnar’s weakness and ageing. And as wonderful as it was to be in Absolon’s arms, it couldn’t last. He wouldn’t be satisfied with this for the rest of his days, no matter how easy. Absolon would know it too. And perhaps that’s where the bargain could be struck.

“I’ve been thinking.” He untangled himself from Absolon’s arms and instantly regretted the loss of his body’s warmth. “What happens as I grow old and you stay young? Won’t that be—”

“No!" The word fired from Absolon as if it had been shot from a musket.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“I know what you’re asking, and I will not curse anyone else with this.” He stormed into the house.

He was smarter than he gave him credit for. “Hear me out, Sol.” Ragnar chased after him. “It wouldn’t be a curse. It would be a kindness, for you and for me.”

He scoffed. “You think I’d enjoy it? That I’d like to make another such as I, another such as Lysander? We’re monsters and there should be none of us, not more.”

“Then why are you still here? If you think yourself so wicked, why not end it when your thirty days are up?”

Absolon turned away to tend the hearth fire.

Ragnar approached and smoothed his arms over Absolon’s thick shoulders. “It’s fine, Sol. No man wants to die, least of all me, so I understand why you haven’t let death come for you, but why not give yourself some pleasure? Why not make the years ahead easier?”

“My guilt is forever.”

“Then share it with me.”

“You don’t understand what it’s like.”

“I’ve taken men’s lives before. I know the horror that can come with it, but it can be soothed. The nights can be filled with love and laughter, not horror and screams. I would stay with you as long as I could, but old age will eventually take me from you, and then who will be there to remember you as you were?”

“You are silver-tongued, that is certain, but you would hate me for what I would do to you.”

“I think not. You are not Lysander. You will not do what you think is wrong. You will not abandon me. Think of it, the two of us together, untouchable, unconquerable, living the life we want with no one to ever tell us what to do.” Though Absolon always liked to follow orders. “Please, Sol. I do this willingly, knowingly. I want this so I can be with you always.”

The words flowed out of his mouth and they came so easily he could have mistaken them for truth. He ignored the desperation in his heart.

Absolon sighed and stared into the fire. He stayed like that for a long time. Ragnar’s tongue yearned to speak and press his case further, but the quiet intensity of Absolon’s pose told him that speaking was not needed. He waited.

“I’ll think about it.”

Ragnar smiled and kissed the top of Absolon’s head. Absolon’s hand found his and they stayed together, warming by the fire while outside a harsh wind whistled and whipped the land.

---