He started walking.
“I’ll find him.” Dak melted into the darkness and Luc kept going.
When he reached his tent, which was more council chamber and meeting place than his bedroom, he found Massi standing outside the entrance, hands clasped together.
She jerked at the sight of him, then ducked inside.
He followed her in.
The crowd that had been there before had broken up, although there were a few small groups still left, haggling over the wagers that had been taken.
“I have no excuse.” Massi wrung her hands together. “I only intended to play with her a little, Luc. I promise. And even saying that makes me realize how poorly that reflects on me.”
“You wanted toplaywith her?” Luc said it slowly. “By pulling a knife?”
Massi’s cheeks went red. “I don’t know what came over me. All I’ve done is think about what happened, replay it, since you put an end to it. She told me who she was, so calm and normal, and I drew the knife. It felt good in my hand. The surprise on her face when . . .” She shook her head. “I wanted her to know I had the power to block her. That she couldn’t just come into our circle without some sacrifice.”
“Why would you want to play those games with her? Chosen camp games?” He was incredulous. This was what had been done to them. And he had promised it would never happen again.
And yet Massi had taken those lessons and applied them to his lover.
“When you say it out loud, I can see it clearly.” Massi rubbed the back of her hand over her mouth. “I can see I was using what they did to us just like a bully guard and I’m ashamed. Ava would have been wary of me forever after that, even if Revek hadn’t attacked her.”
“You were trying to turn her against you. So I’d have to choose between you. Between my sister and my heart’s choice.” Luc walked over to one of the boxes they used as chairs, and sat down. Rested his head in his hands. “I almost don’t care why anymore. What you did goes against everything we said we’d be.”
Massi didn’t answer, and when Luc looked up he saw she was crying. He had never seen her cry, not in all the years he’d known her. Not through anything the Kassian had done to them in the Chosen camps.
He realized he felt cold. “Ava accused you of starting this, and then doing nothing to help her. So are you crying because you’re sorry, or because you’re sorry you got caught?”
Massi’s flinch was like a body blow to him. Because she had been there with him every step of the way in the camps. Helped him when he was beaten and starved and tortured. Never let him down. Until now.
“I did start it. I didn’t realize Rev was nearby and must have seen me pull the knife. It had to have triggered him. But I did try to stop it. I asked Finnian to call you, and I was looking for an opening to intervene when you arrived.” She walked closer to him, but didn’t sit.
“If you had put yourself between them, Rev would have stopped.”
“Maybe, or maybe he’d have killed me. Should I have put myself in that kind of danger?”
Luc lifted his head and stared at her. Let the silence stretch out.
“What is wrong with me?” She slowly put a hand over her mouth and stared at him with shocked eyes over the top of it. “I didn’t mean that, Luc. But truly, in the moment, I was trying to find a way to get through to him. Ava seemed able to keep out of his way, except that one time she didn’t quite move fast enough.”
“Her shoulder,” Luc said.
Massi nodded. “There’ll be a bruise, at least.”
“This isn’t helping.” Luc got to his feet. “I said to Dak this feels worse than the camps, because there, I knew to expect betrayal and pain. That’s how it was. But I didn’t expect something like this from you. It hurts, Massi. Worse than when Derek betrayed me to the Kassian and got me captured. Because you and Rev mean much more to me.”
“You’re my brother.” Revek spoke into the silence from the tent entrance, Dak just behind him. “I don’t know what happened, Luc. I saw Massi pull a knife on a woman near your tent, and I just thought, another assassin.” He stepped inside, and lifted a shaking hand to his mouth, rubbed it. “I don’t remember anything but a blur of images and feelings after that until you stood in front of me.”
“That’s very convenient, Rev.”
Revek’s head jerked up to meet his gaze. “I’m not saying it because it’s convenient, I’m saying it because it’s true. I was lost. Like I used to get, in the camps.” He looked down. “I haven’t done that in years.”
“So you’re saying something just came over both of you, coincidentally, when Ava arrived.” He lifted his brows.
“I didn’t think she’d ever come.” Massi finally sat in her usual place, but on the edge of the seat, as if uncertain she was welcome. “I knew you believed she would, but I didn’t. I was glad about it. Because we’re a family. A team. A force to be reckoned with. And now this woman from Grimwalt was just going to dance into our circle and be one of us? Take your time and attention? I told myself it wouldn’t happen. And then it did.”
“You aren’t the only one who felt like that.” Dak had been hovering near the entrance, but he made his way deeper into the tent. “I was rude to Ava last night. She tried to be friendly. Tried really hard. And I didn’t give her a chance. And then I saw Luc’s face as he turned away from me to go with her, and I asked myself, what was I afraid of? Luc has put himself on the line for me time and again, taken beatings for me. He created the Rising Wave so that we can take back our land and our identity. And I was behaving like a petty child. I barely slept, wondering if I’d damaged our friendship.” He looked over at Massi. “And so I apologized.”