Page 111 of When the Smoke Clears

Maci’s been trying to increase her exposure at Ruthie’s. If she ever plans to move forward, she has to face that demon down. While she managed to visit during the day with her friends, I know there’s more that needs to be done. A night that needs to be erased, and a place that needs to be reclaimed.

Even more, I want her to be sure she wants to be on the ranch with me. She can’t be sure if she doesn’t have all of her choices completely available to her before she decides. So having Ruthie’s house feel accessible to her is paramount to us moving forward together, and with our independent career endeavors.

Nothing looks especially different. At least, not to me. I don’t know what she sees. We remain silent after parking. Her gaze is trained on the backyard, only a portion of which is visible from here.

I don’t bother with words as I get out of the truck. A familiar soft blanket is tucked beneath the backseat, and it comes along with me to get Maci from the passenger side. Once she climbs down, she wraps her arms around my waist, leaning against me. I bring my arm around her, trailing my fingers over the scar hidden beneath her shirt. She doesn’t know it yet, but I aim to remove every horrible memory she has of this yard.

Colt stole something from her that night. Something intangible. And I’m going to give it back to her. This yard, this place, this life, every piece of it belongs to her. I won’t let her go another day with her feeling like this part of her life is unreachable.

I tilt my head down. “I know you trust me…but if at any point this is too much, just say the word.” She bobs her head, still tucked against my sternum. “I’m only trying to help.” The last few words are quieter. A promise.

Her head tilts up and her bright green eyes find mine. “I know.”

“I love you,” I say, ready to show her how much.

“I love you.”

Releasing her hip, I tangle our fingers together, a physical representation of the link between us. She follows easily when I give a soft tug. Her steps slow the closer we get to the fire pit. I release her hand and lay out the flannel blanket. She takes in the metal pit with furrowed brows.

“What?”

“There’s fresh wood.” She glances at me questioningly.

“Yes.” I wait for her to say more, but she doesn’t. I make quick work of getting the blaze going. The temperature has been mild today, but it’s dropping faster as darkness comes on quickly.

A shiver races through her body. I rub up and down her arms to create friction, then using a finger, tip her chin my direction and kiss her firmly. Her lips are warm and soft and she lets out a tiny moan. Good. She needs pleasure here.

I sit on the blanket with my legs spread and motion for her to lean against me. She shifts back and forth on her feet, but I don’t take the hesitation personally. Eventually, she sits between my legs and leans back, facing into the yard.

Slowly, her body softens into me as I play with the hair draped over her shoulder. When Maci leans into one arm, looking up at me, I press a kiss to her lips which she returns hungrily.

“This place is yours.” I kiss her again, harder, to make my point. “This night is about you. About reclaiming what was taken.” With one hand, I begin unbuttoning her shirt from the top down. Her surprised gaze falls to my hand, but when I lean in to kiss her again, she concedes.

When her shirt is completely unbuttoned, I shift my weight, guiding her with the arm she’s leaned against so she leans back onto the blanket. I drag a finger along her collarbone and down between her breasts, shifting the shirt off of her left side to expose her new scar. Her body tenses. It’s become a habit to press my lips against the marred skin, but it doesn’t stop a tiny gasp from leaving her.

“This is a part of you.” l look up at her without moving from her hip, caged over her body. “If we’re being honest, every part of you is mine,” I add, giving her a sideways smirk. Fuck, I love when she grins like that at me. “But this,” I say, leaning forward to trail the scar with my mouth, brushing over it without stopping. “This is yours. It’s a symbol of your fierce nature, your strength, your determination. You are not a victim. You are a survivor. And you are fucking amazing.”

A tear falls from her eye, dropping off the side of her face to the blanket. She nods.

I hum against her hip. I love the way her back arches into me and she groans as I kiss my way over to her belly button, leading up to her chest and then her mouth. She opens willingly and I swipe my tongue against hers. Her hands are even colder than before when she places them on each side of my face, deepening the kiss.

Maci fits against me perfectly, and when I lean her forward, reaching around to help remove her open shirt, she showers my neck and chest with hot kisses, threatening to derail my plan. I take the opportunity to unclasp her bra and toss it aside.

“Don’t burn it,” she breathes against my neck.

“Fuck it. I’ll buy you a new one.”

Her laugh is magical. It soothes me when I’m the one trying to soothe her.

I need to be able to help her. If in some way I’m able to help her feel whole again, then maybe she’ll have an inkling of how much I love her. How much I need her. And how much I fucking want her.

Naked from the waist up, she falls back onto the blanket. She’s a vision. Her dark brown hair splays around her as if it was meticulously placed. Her eyes and mouth are hungry, and I harden immediately. I can’t take my eyes off her, throwing my own flannel and undershirt into the grass behind me.

“Oh, sure.Thosecan’t be replaced so don’t burnthem.”

That fucking mouth.

My hands fall to either side of her head, missing her hair as I lean over her. I let my words come out low, despite being alone. “I’ll burn this whole damn world down if it means keeping you.”

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