Page 15 of When the Smoke Clears

Taco Tuesday!

Me:

I’ll be the one with a limp and dirty hair.

And tomorrow is Monday.

I set my phone on the nightstand and head into the bathroom to clean up. When I open the door, Sutton is waiting for me. His shoulder is pressed against the doorframe, and he extends a hand to me.

It’s warm around my own. “Where are we going?”

“Not far.” He already looks proud, and I have no idea what’s going on. Thankfully, I don’t have to wait long. Outside of the hallway entrance is a tiny card table and two folding chairs.

I gape. “Is this a date?”

“Just thought you could use some fresh air.” He helps me to a chair before sitting across from me.

For now, we seem to be skirting the big issues because he asks, “How was lunch with your mom?”

Lunch with Stephanie may have only been yesterday, but it feels like a lifetime ago.

The bite of meatloaf I take gives me a chance to organize my thoughts. Sharing how she told me that her love was clouded by pain and that my life isn’t in Bull Creek makes me tense. I’m good at compartmentalizing most of the time, something I’m realizing more and more that I got from my mother. Discussing it just makes everything raw and real.

“Not great, but that’s no surprise. She tried to convince me not to stay in Bull Creek.”

His focus turns wholly to me. “Do you need convincing?”

“I don’t make my decisions with input from her. I do plan to stay, though. She told me that she’s not contesting the will, and Randi’s already told me she isn’t keeping Nana’s house. So I talked to her about turning it into a bed and breakfast, and a photography studio.”

A new kind of smile fills Sutton’s face. It’s soft, bringing a youthful innocence to him. “That’s a great idea.”

“Yeah?” I didn’t make the decision out of a need for Sutton’s approval, but knowing he thinks it’s a good idea does increase my confidence. “I don’t need the whole house, no one does apparently, but it has so much love left to share.”

His lips purse. “You plan to live there?”

“For now. Well, once I’m healed.”

He hums an acknowledgment, but the guarded look in his eyes tells me there’s something I’m missing.

After we finish eating, Sutton helps me back into the bedroom and onto the bed, leaving to break down our dinner space. I lean against the handmade bedframe, taking in its woven cedar branches again.

I wonder what else he’s made here.

I’m silently jealous when Sutton comes back and disappears into the bathroom to shower. Partly because I’d rather he at least leave the door open so I get some eye candy, but more so because I feel disgusting and I’m ready to be fully clean again.

Instead, he surprises me, returning from the bathroom with a large bowl of warm water and a washcloth. He sets both on the side table. “I know you feel dirty. It’s soapy water. Do you want some help?” He studies me cautiously. Like I’m breakable. I’m equal parts touched and frustrated. I worked so hard not to be a victim again.

My heart aches at the kindness, but I’m not prepared to let him help me. “I’ll work on it while you shower.”

He purses his lips to one side. “Sure. Just don’t overdo it.”

While Sutton enjoys the shower, I wipe down my face and neck before sliding my thin sweater off, cleaning up my arms and chest. The rest will have to wait for a full shower.

When he’s dressed, Sutton brings a shirt to my side of the bed. His eyes linger a moment on the gauze taped to my side, his jaw ticking. Whatever he wants to say doesn’t come.

“This will be soft to sleep in, if you want.” He waits for my nod and helps me into the fresh black tee, dousing me in his signature leather and hay scent.

“Lay back.” As usual, all of his instructions are short but thoughtful. He removes my pants and tucks me into the plush bed. My eyes fall closed as I slip into the familiarity of the many pillows.

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