Page 12 of Vision of Truth

Julie was caught between heaven and hell. Heaven because Isaac’s arms were wrapped around her midsection like a vice and he was laying himself bare. Hell because she’d waited so long to hear the words he was giving her, and she’d already made up her mind to move on with her life. Her heart was abraded with tracks marking the paths Isaac had taken to put distance between them. She was stubborn, but not so much that she’d deny her and Isaac the chance of a future together, but he was going to have to show her with his actions that he was committed to a relationship.

Damn, it was going to hurt if he took those words back. A wedge of uncertainty jammed into her throat. If he got scared and ran from her again. There’d been many times when his eyes were entrenched with emotion when he looked at her, but he’d never voiced what was in his heart. That’s why she was laying still, tears streaming down her face instead of turning and kissing him with all the pent-up love inside. Well, that and Sabrina was fast asleep on the other side of the bed. She couldn’t return Isaac’s words. Not yet. Not when Isaac’s question about her relationship with Vesey was still pulsating in her ears. Not when the bite of his words, his mistrust in the validity of her love, was inflamed and chafed.

So she laid in the arms of the man who’d been her everything for as long as she could remember. Her fortress when she entered foster care. When her brother Gus was drowning in the decision he’d made to save her life, taking their father’s instead and nearly losing his own in the process. Isaac had shown her his favorite spot. A secluded clearing near a brook. They would sit and talk for hours about why people did the things they did. He told her about his mother and what he survived. His courage to overcome the abuse he’d suffered only made her respect him more. She might never understand why her father had murdered her mother and then turned the knife on Gus. The violence of that day would live in her forever, but she learned to grieve the loss of her parents and be thankful for the family she had. The one she and Gus had forged with Easton and Isaac.

Part of that healing had taken place because of Isaac’s willingness to share secrets he considered shameful. Retelling his trauma had cost him. Yet he’d done that. For her. She’d take this moment and cherish it for what it was. Enjoy the warmth of Isaac’s skin soaking into her like the sun warming sand. Of his words rolling over her like waves, crashing around her heart. She just hoped that in the end, those waves would lift her up and not shatter her like glass tumbling over a rocky coast.

****

Laughter, distant and fuzzy, wrapped around Julie like loose gauze. She nuzzled her cheek against the soft pillow beneath her head, a slight smile on her face. She’d had the best dream of Isaac wrapped around her, holding her while she slept. A satisfied sigh whooshed from her lungs, until the giggle erupted, sharper this time. The events from the night before ripped her from that hallowed place between dreams and reality, and she sat up with a start, throwing her legs over the side of the bed. She was alone in the room—both Isaac and Sabrina had already woken up if the laughter was any indication. She took the opportunity to pad over to the attached bathroom. Isaac had somehow managed to grab her preferred bath products and a clean change of clothes at the store the night prior, and had lined them on the countertop. Beside them was a note.

Morning, my sleepy sloth.

Take your time in the shower. I’ll make sure Sabrina saves you some pancakes.

Isaac might be a seasoned fighter, but he was also generous and thoughtful. The gesture made her smile as she stepped into the shower. Despite what the note said, she didn’t linger beneath the steamy spray. She was anxious to see how Sabrina was doing this morning, and find out if there was any new updates about Mr. Vesey or the people chasing them. She dried off and pulled on the undergarments, leggings, and long-sleeved cotton shirt that Isaac had left out. After throwing her hair up into a messy bun, she made her way out into the hall and walked right into a solid wall of muscle.

“Thought I heard you stirring.” The low, gravelly pitch of his voice never failed to make her heart thunder. Instead of moving away, Isaac pulled her closer, kissing her forehead, then shuffling her back into the bedroom. The door closed behind them with a soft click, and Isaac turned them so the cool wood was pressed against her back. “Wanted to make sure you heard what I said last night.” His rough palm was cupping her cheek, sliding down her neck. Warmth spread between her hips.

“I need to check on Sabrina.” Her voice hitched, suddenly nervous to hear what Isaac was going to say to her. She was more vulnerable standing here in the light, facing him, than she was last night.

Isaac’s face softened. “We made pancakes and eggs. Rowan’s kitchen has never seen so much destruction.” A rare smile ghosted over his lips. “They were playing Fruit Ninja on her tablet, then he made a friend for life when he dug out a bunch of old padlocks and keys from his toolbox. Kid’s having the time of her life.”

She drew her head back, momentarily distracted from Isaac’s touches. “You were able to get her a new tablet?”

“Yeah, at the store last night.” The back of his hand gently brushed over her collar bone. “Don’t know if it’s the best quality or what she needs. I was grabbing things blindly and moving as fast as I could. Also found the toy keys, but now that she’s had the real deal I don’t think there is any chance of going back to plastic.”

“I can’t believe you got all that you did.” Her voice had turned to smoke—hazy and thick with lust from their close proximity.

They stood against the door hip to hip and she couldn’t suppress a shiver of pleasure as Isaac’s gaze bore down on her. His pupils nearly eclipsed the irises, black licorice swallowing up warm chocolate. He’d always hid his desire for her, but right now, he was revealing everything. The intensity was so staggering, the breath bottled up in her chest. They were on the edge of something profound. His hands went to her waist, growing possessive as he slid them down to grip her hips. She stilled as his broad chest heaved, breath rushing in and out. He had to make the first move. Needed to be the one to carry the relationship forward.

One moment she was contemplating if he was going to kiss her, and the next his mouth crashed down on hers. Isaac swallowed the groan that seized in the back of her throat. This was everything she’d ever wanted, everything she’d dreamed of. Honest in their feelings for one another, exploring this explosive attraction that had always sparked between them. He tasted of coffee, of maple syrup, of Isaac. Perfection. When the result of his attraction pressed against her belly, she slipped her hands into the back pockets of his jeans and tugged him closer. His hands fisted in her hair, angling her head to deepen the kiss. His tongue played against hers, and her nipples beaded beneath her shirt. They were both losing control, and as much as she wanted to push Isaac to give her everything, she slowed the kiss, grazing her teeth slowly over his bottom lip. She brought her hands to his chest, even though their legs and hips were still molded together.

“Fuck, Jules. You turn me inside out. Always have.” He drew her to his chest, arms surrounding her. She loved his hugs. Loved the way he engulfed her. “As much as I want to strip you out of those clothes, I know we don’t have time for me to cherish you the way I’ve dreamed of doing. We don’t have to rush the physical. I never want you to feel pressured by anything, and I need you to be open and honest if I do something wrong. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you.”

A sickness settled in her gut, and with it a fierce protectiveness surged white-hot through her chest. “Isaac.” His name was barely a whisper on her lips. How could she have not seen what was right in front of her all this time? “We don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with either. We can take things slow.” She cupped his cheeks when he looked away, disgrace clear on his ruggedly handsome face. “You are not like your mother, not like the men and women who raped you. I know you’d never hurt me, and I’ll never hurt you. If there’s anything that triggers you, that reminds you of what happened, I need to know you’ll tell me.”

His body was rigid beneath her hands. “I don’t know.”

Her heart broke all over again, not because she was losing him, but because of how much he’d lost. How much was taken from him as a child. “It’s okay. We can wait for that trust to build in our physical relationship.”

“No.” His response was fast and sharp, then he softened. “I trust you, Jules. Implicitly. But I have no way of knowing if I have any triggers. I told you last night I’ve never had a woman in my bed, and I wasn’t lying. I don’t know if I’m going to have some kind of flashback. What if I did, and I ended up hurting you? Sex has always equaled pain. Something filthy and shameful that you can’t scrub away. Something you wear on your skin, for everyone to see, to judge.” He swallowed hard, and his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “When Easton and I got taken into foster care we were nearly teenagers, but I was so repulsed by what I’d been through, sickened at the thought of being touched or having to touch someone, I didn’t have the typical hormone surge I imagine most young adults do during puberty. Then after a couple years, you and Gus showed up, and I didn’t want to be with anyone for an entirely different reason. Because I only want to be with you. Jules, you’re the only person who can hollow out that desire in me. I’ve never willingly been with someone. I don’t know if I can make it good for you or—”

She brushed a featherlight kiss over his lips. This big, strong warrior had the power to bring her to her knees. “We’ll figure it out like we have everything else. Together. And I owe you an apology.” Unshed tears burned behind her lids. “I was selfish. Only thinking of myself all of this time and how much I wanted you. I should’ve stopped to consider your past and how you might feel about having a physical relationship.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. Make no mistake, baby, I want you. When I first saw you, that surge of lust knocked me back. I’d never experienced it before. You became a safe space to think about those feelings, and for the first time, I didn’t feel so broken. I meant what I said last night. I love you.”

“Isaac.” She rose up on her tippy toes and kissed his cheeks and the tip of his nose. “You’ve always been it for me. My strength. The reason I was able to cope and move forward. I love you, too, but I think you already know that.” She smiled, attempting to lighten the heaviness of their conversation.

He nodded, gaze intense as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. “No one has ever loved me as fiercely as you do, and I was a bastard to imply there was something between you and Vesey when I knew damn well it was me you loved. I’m sorry for that, and thank you for calling me on my shit. Of scaring me half to death by pulling away so I got up the courage to tell you how I felt.”

A crash sounded from the hallway, and Isaac grabbed her arm and tucked her behind him. His hand was at his hip, drawing his weapon. “Stay here.”

From where they stood against the wall, he thrust open the bedroom door and hurtled into the hallway. “Christ,” Isaac muttered under his breath. “It’s okay, Jules.”

She stepped around the threshold and followed Isaac’s gaze toward the source of the noise. Rowan was on all fours with Sabrina on his back. Toys were scattered throughout the open space, including an explosion of blocks, which was likely the source of the boom. Sabrina slipped off Rowan, clapping and shaking her hands as she moved toward Isaac. She stopped briefly at his side and leaned her head against his arm. Watching the expression of warmth melt over Isaac’s face was so beautiful that she didn’t even notice Sabrina had moved to her side.

Julie knelt down and the little girl lifted her small hands, tracing her forehead and cheeks before climbing into her lap. She was relieved that the girl’s skin didn’t show any new bruises from the car accident. Sabrina stood abruptly, and grabbed her hand, and started pulling her toward the kitchen, singing a song about a pancake man. Julie smiled at Sabrina’s high pitched voice, and the way she pointed to the fridge enthusiastically, rocking back and forth on her heels. The men were right behind them, and Isaac announced he was going to brew a fresh pot of coffee. He knew she wasn’t a morning person, and didn’t function well without caffeine.

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