Page 17 of Vision of Truth

“Me too.” He stalked forward and pulled her to his chest. When she rested the side of her cheek against his heart and wrapped her arms around his waist instead of hers, contentment spread through him. Having Jules melt against him was a dream come true. He wanted to earn the right to love and protect her always. “We both know how unfair life can be, but I wish we could spare her the reality of discovering that so young.” He leaned back and studied her face. “Feel like getting a little fresh air?”

“Like outside?” The shock in her voice was audible. “Is that safe?”

“Rowan just did a perimeter check for us. The property is all clear, so if you’d like, we can go upstairs to the main cabin. The attic opens to a rooftop sitting area at the back of the house.” He’d gone up earlier with blankets and pillows, because it was January after all. At Gus’s house, there was an outdoor fireplace on the stone patio. They spent time out there often, bringing out quilts to wrap around their shoulders and marshmallows to roast. In the past few years, those times spent with the ones he loved most happened less and less often. Being around Julie and not being able to express his true feelings had been too painful.

“Isaac? What was that look?” Her small palm came to rest on his cheek.

“I was thinking about the time I’ve wasted.” He leaned into her touch and sighed. “How I stayed away.”

“As long as you don’t stay away now.” She dropped her hand from his face and stepped back. “Show me this deck. I don’t care how cold it is, so long as we get to go outside.” Her eyes sparkled with excitement at the simple prospect of spending some time beyond the underground safe house.

“I don’t deserve you. The way you forgive so easily … thank you for giving me another chance.” He slid his palm against hers, leading them to the first doorway. He unbolted several deadbolts and walked forward into the concrete room that separated the underground safe house from the cabin above. “This way,” he started to say as they moved toward the steep staircase.

“I think there’s only one way to go,” she chuckled.

“Got me there.” At the top of the stairs, he pushed up the concealed hatch, climbed out, and turned to help Jules. Although the safehouse below was warm and comfortable, the still, frigid air of the cabin made him second guess his decision. “Promise you’ll tell me if you get too cold?” he said gripping the string to pull down the retractable attic stairs.

“I will.” She gave him a reassuring smile and they climbed up into the small space at the back of the house. “I’m good right now, though. This feels like an adventure.”

He grinned at her enthusiasm. “Think we’ve had a bit too much adventure lately.”

“Well, I didn’t mean the hunted by the FBI and blood thirsty criminals type of adventure. I meant the me and you kind,” she said as he climbed up the steps and turned to take her hands. He’d dusted the space a bit earlier when laying out the pillows and blankets. He had to hunch so his head didn’t brush the ceiling, but Jules didn’t have that problem with her petite stature.

“I used to live for those afternoons we’d spend in the forest. Didn’t matter if we sat in silence or talked for hours.” He stepped to the side so there was room to open the door that led to the rooftop deck. It was the perfect size for two to stretch out and watch the stars.

“Me too. It was like our private bubble. A place I was safe to share anything on my mind.” Her gaze dropped to the pillows and blankets, then shifted to the bottle of wine and glasses.

He cleared his throat, suddenly nervous. “Rowan must’ve brought up the wine.”

“This is perfect.” She was already stepping out. Her chin tilted toward the sky, and she sucked in a breath. “I’ve never seen stars look this bright.”

He wanted to tell her she put every one of those stars to shame, but his throat was constricted with emotion as love swamped him. All he could do was loop his hands around her waist and pull her back against his chest. “I love you, Jules,” he murmured in her ear.

She let her head fall back against his shoulder and looked up at him. “I love you, too. Thank you for bringing me up here. For recognizing I was getting stir crazy before I realized it myself.”

Although he desperately wanted to kiss her, he dropped his forehead to hers, embracing the connection between them. Maybe he was overly cautious because of his childhood abuse, but he didn’t want Julie to think he’d only brought her up here for one thing. Don’t get him wrong, he loved exploring their physical relationship, something he’d been extremely concerned about. He’d been worried the experiences would trigger him in some way, and he’d either lash out or have flashbacks to a dark time. With Jules, though, he was safe to be himself. She didn’t give him time to let his mind wander and didn’t allow him to forget it was just the two of them.

How long they stood there, his heart beating against her back as they looked up at the silver stars, he didn’t know. When she shivered against him, he knew it was time to get her bundled up.

“Let’s get you warm.” He released her just long enough to grab one of the thick velvety blankets, throwing it around his shoulders, the corners of the material in his hands, and enveloped her in the warm fabric. He lifted her slightly as he sat against the pillows cushioning the wooden deck. Jules turned in his arms, so she was facing him.

“You’re not going to see the stars this way.” He brushed a stream of hair away from her face.

“I’d rather look at you.” A flash of something burned through her gaze, striking him with a shock of heat that gathered in his gut and traveled downward.

The groan that reverberated in the back of his throat mirrored the whimper that caught in hers. Long suppressed emotions and desires raced forth, making him nearly dizzy with longing. A gust of wind tugged at their blankets, but the temperature had surged. He moved first, sinking his hand into her hair and dropping his mouth. Their lips brushed and tingles swept over his skin. She opened immediately. There was an urgency in the kiss as they fought to get closer. In the process, they’d moved from sitting to laying on their sides and his hands were gripping her hips, molded against the rough denim of her jeans. Her palms were moving over his chest, eliciting shivers of excitement.

“I want to touch you. Taste you.” He swallowed her moan of agreement and let his hands dip under the material of her sweatshirt to caress her soft skin, loving the curve of her hips and the dip of her waist. His fingers were trembling with need when he fumbled with the front closure of her bra. She arched against him in encouragement when the clasp released. A breath shuddered from his lips as he plumped her supple breasts. He loved the little sounds she made when he dragged the rough pads of his thumbs over the sensitive tips. More when he lowered his head and tasted her sweet skin. He could pleasure her all night and it still wouldn’t be enough. Her hands were massaging his scalp, drawing him closer. He wanted her. Wanted to sink inside her heat. To be skin to skin. Close on every level. They’d yet to have sex, and she hadn’t pressured him. The last thing he wanted was for Jules to feel as though she was tiptoeing on delicate glass around him, but the truth was, fear was holding him from being with her in the way he wanted most.

There was tension against his sternum, and it took him a moment to realize it was Julie’s palm.

“There’s no pressure here,” she whispered against his lips.

He was at a loss for words. How did he express how much he wanted her yet how twisted up he was at the same time? “It’s not pressure. It’s the unknown. I don’t want to hurt you, Jules. I also don’t want to disappoint you. Have the experience be less than you deserve.”

“Isaac, look at me. Please,” she added. Although it was dark, there was just enough light from the lantern to make out the intensity in her eyes. “Your masculinity, your strength, how much I love you isn’t going to diminish if we fumble our first time together or if we decide not to have sex at all. The closeness I feel to you is everything I’ve ever wanted.”

He rested his forehead against hers. “You could always read my mind. Get to the heart of my thoughts even when I couldn’t work them out in my head. I hate that my actions are still controlled by what happened to me. That those people who abused me still dictate my life. And Julie, there’s nothing I want more than a life with you. I want this, but still, I’m not prepared. I didn’t lie when I said I’ve never made love before. This will be a first for both of us. I’m clean, but I can’t keep you safe from pregnancy.”

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