Page 10 of Under the Influence

“It’s complicated.”

“Is it complicated or do you not want to talk about it?”

I grin at her bitchy tone. Her gaze remains soft, even if she sounds ready to slap me. I realize my reasons might not be complicated, but this woman sure is.

“I’m no longer a young man,” I admit, thinking about how foolish I’m behaving by chasing Edith. “I used to believe I knew what would happen next in life. Now, I’m not so sure.”

“Are you a control freak?” she asks. “I heard from someone that you’re a dictator.”

“Was it Tuesday?” I mutter. “And did she hear that from Cubby?”

“He’s a moron.”

“I know.”

“But you ride with him.”

“Doesn’t your dad ride with anyone you think is a moron?”

“Sure, plenty of them are morons. But they’re family.”

“And Cubby’s my family.”

Edith studies me and exhales softly. “That can’t be easy.”

I chuckle at her pitying tone. “No, not usually. It’s not all his fault. We live in a small town. At some point, a person looks around and asks, ‘Is this all there is?’ Nothing new to do. No one new to meet. Stuck in the same grinder you’ve been in for years. It can make a weak man restless and dumb.”

I feel like I’m talking about myself. Right now, with Edith’s scent making my cock hard and my heart soft, I’m likely to convince myself of many stupid things. Just like how Cubby convinced himself that he could start over with Tuesday in Florida.

Edith looks around the bar and then fixes her gaze on me. “Everyone at the homestead has found someone. Even my horndog cousins are loopy in love. They make it seem so easy, but like you said, we live small lives in small towns. We can either make do or we can move on to somewhere new.”

“Moving to Florida didn’t work for Cubby or Tuesday.”

“She was never going to stay there,” Edith mutters. “The humidity is too much for her hair.”

Chuckling, I fight the urge to kiss the splash of freckles across Edith’s tanned nose. Tuesday has them, too, but never once did I care one way or the other. With Edith, I can barely keep my hands to myself.

“I mentioned at the party how I’m thinking of moving to Arcadia.”

“Where’s that?” I ask, hiding none of my irritation.

“It’s a beach town down south. Do you know my cousin Rie?”

“Court’s youngest daughter?”

“Right. She married a hippie biker and moved with him to Arcadia. They live with his people in a big house. Court’s older daughter is staying down there, too. It’s a fancy town by the beach. There’s a fun town next door. Lots of opportunities for my Mister Right.”

Even knowing I told her leaving home was the right choice, I now gaslight us both by pretending those words were never spoken. “I thought you worked for your family.”

“I have an associate's degree. I could do bankroll anywhere. I don’t need to stay here.”

I stare into her eyes and see her laid bare. “But you want to stay here.”

Edith’s lips turn downward as she nods. “Arcadia is only a few hours away. I see Rie all the time. It wouldn’t be such a hardship, but I’d miss the homestead. I want to be around when my brother Ike’s baby is born. Oana used to be in the religious cult that runs around Tumbling Rock. She’s still getting used to being a normal person. It’d be selfish for me to leave her right now.”

Downing half my beer, I get that tight feeling in my chest again. Last time, I thought I was having a heart attack. I feel the same panic now when I consider Edith leaving West Virginia.

“You need to do right by your family,” I insist. “Your people are close.”

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