Page 41 of Under the Influence

Edith’s eyes fill with tears, and she holds her breath. I wrap her against me and frown at how upset she’s gotten herself.

“You’re completely in control here,” I say and stroke her back.

“I’m scared.”

“Of me or sex?”

“Both. Neither. I don’t know. I’m just scared.”

“Well, you know I’m not a threat. As for sex, we don’t need to do anything tonight.”

“No, I want you,” she says, gluing herself to me. “I’ll feel worse if we aren’t together tonight.”

I sway back and forth while stroking her hair. She softens in my arms, but I feel my shirt dampen from her wet cheeks.

“Can’t we just relax tonight?” I ask when she looks up at me. “We’re alone. No eyes are on us. Isn’t that enough?”

“I want you.”

“You have me. That’s why your hands are on my ass.”

Edith flashes a seductive smile. “They’re on your hips.”

“Yeah, but we both know where they’re headed.”

Laughing, Edith backs away. “I’m afraid sex will hurt or you’ll be bad at it.”

I don’t take the bait by assuring her of my abilities. Instead, I point out, “Well, if I lack skill and you lack knowledge, we’ll do research and learn together.”

Edith’s million-watt smile contrasts with her wet, fearful eyes.

“Sex hurts when you rush it,” I explain and walk us to the bedroom half of the suite so we can look out the window. “I think we’re making a mistake by having sex tonight.” Before she can complain, I kiss her and whisper, “Hear me out, okay?”

Edith looks out at the wooded view and smiles softly. She’s a country girl at heart and would have been unhappy in that beach town. Edith Mooney isn’t a woman meant for fancy living. She loves small-town life, where a trip to the bridal store can lead to a brawl with a local troublemaker.

“If you and I weren’t hiding this thing,” I explain as Edith settles down and studies me, “I’d have you over to my place. I’d make you dinner. We’d watch a movie on the couch and make out without an audience.”

Edith’s gaze brightens when she imagines us no longer hiding.

“Instead, we have these dates where we need to drive far from home and worry about being seen. There’s nothing casual about our time together. I think that’s why you’re getting emotional.”

Edith looks at the king-sized bed like it’s a chore she doesn’t want to do.

“You and I need to just relax,” I continue as she grows panicked over sex. “Let’s order dinner. We’ll watch whatever we can find on TV. We’ll hang out as if we were at my place.”

I gesture toward the two-room suite. “We can play house in the hotel room. Maybe by the time we’re in bed, you’ll be in a good place and ready. But probably, we’ll bunk here and wake up with bedhead and bad breath. It’ll be normal like what Lola and Val are enjoying. That’s why their relationship feels real and ours feels like a performance.”

I see the exact moment when my words hit the right spot. Smiling easier now, Edith steps closer and rests her hand on my chest. “I told my ma about you.”

Cocking an eyebrow, I ask, “How did that go?”

“She’s promised to keep our secret.”

I hear what she doesn’t say. Journey Mooney isn’t fully on board with her daughter’s choice. But that’s a problem for another day.

Wearing a bright smile, Edith regains her focus. She’s no longer thinking about me inside her or keeping secrets. Her mind is fixated on how we’re alone in this suite for an entire night.

EDITH, AKA FIGHTING THE GIRL IN THE MIRROR

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