Page 47 of Under the Influence

That’s why I remain passive, even when our kiss deepens and my erection makes my jeans feel excruciatingly tight. I still don’t dare move my hands anywhere lower than her collarbone.

If this is a test, I plan to get a flawless score. Because for me, tonight is simply the beginning.

EDITH, AKA THROWING UP BEAVER BARRIERS

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After I dress in the lingerie, I call Tuesday for a pep talk. She does her best to pump me up, demanding I throw off the shackles of my virginity and ravish Duke’s fine body.

“The great thing about older lovers is how they aren’t capable of escaping our younger lady demands. You pounce on him and threaten to hide his heart pills until he eats out your pussy and makes you see God.”

“Screw that garbage, I don’t want my fricking vagina in his mouth,” I mumble, recoiling at the thought. “Make your pep talk less nasty.”

“Doesn’t Duke make you horny and insane? Isn’t that why you’re sneaking around instead of taking things slowly?”

“Of course, he’s sexy,” I say and sigh as memories of Duke flood my mind. “He’s so sweet. I know he cares about me. I want to be close to him. I like the idea of our bodies touching. We make out a lot. I always feel safe with him.”

“So, what’s the hold-up, nerd?”

“I’m afraid of insertion.”

“Oh, baby, that part is fun.”

Grunting, I mutter, “Yeah, when you’re all sloppy stretched out like you, whore.”

“My first time didn’t hurt, and it happened with a drunk guy up against Mickey D’s.”

“None of that is true.”

“Okay, it hurt a little, but you can learn from my experience, ya bitch-slut-cunt-rat-faced-fuck-twat-whore. My first time was fun. Especially because I actively participated by rubbing my clit. Don’t let your lover’s laziness distract from the goal of having mind-blowing sex.”

“Wait, what? I’ll need to deal with a dick inside me while I’m rubbing my own clit? Is that what I’m supposed to do with my hands? Should I make eye contact while we’re thrusting? Sex feels too complicated.”

“Your big brain is getting in the way of you having fun. Just wear that pink negligee in front of Duke and let him do all the work.”

“I’m scared,” I whisper like I’m in a horror movie, and outside the bathroom door lurks a monster rather than a dreamy man. “What if I fart or do something dumb?”

“Duke is your dream guy,” Tuesday says, calming my crazy with talk of magic. “He has experience. So, let him run the show while you look gorgeous and feel good.”

“I’m still scared of making weird noises.”

“He’s bound to make weird noises, too. And he’ll likely have a silly face when he comes. Duke is allowed to be human, so why can’t you be one, too?”

Tuesday’s words quiet the top layer of noise in my mind. Duke is wildly sexy, but he isn’t an unknown entity. He wants me to see the real him.

And he’s outside this bathroom, waiting to spend time with me.Why am I hiding?

“I’m still scared.”

“You’re scared a lot lately,” Tuesday replies. “I think I know why.”

“Share your wisdom then.”

“You’re fighting your Earlham side. The part of you that runs around and shoots water pistols and wrestles with me in the grass. That part of you is real, and it’s powerful. You think you can be sensible and never make mistakes, but you’re as much of an Earlham as me, bitch.”

“What does my Earlham side want?”

“Our bloodline is wild and horny. But you insist on fighting that feeling.”

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