Page 73 of Under the Influence

When Duke studies me, I instantly feel guilty for not fessing up. I gesture for him to follow me. We walk to the spot where my future house will be located.

“Everyone on the homestead has a spot for their home. This is mine,” I say and bite too hard at my bottom lip.

When Duke frowns, I’m unsure if he’s reacting to my announcement or the weird energy coming off me.

“You said your parents were okay with us. You saw how the girls were okay,” Duke says, brushing his thumb across my tender lower lip. “What’s triggering your unhappiness right now?”

Tears burn my eyes, and I lose the ability to speak. I’m so embarrassed by how I messed up my birth control. I’ve always been the responsible one. I ragged on Tuesday for years for being a ditz. Yet, she shared her muff far and wide without any unintended consequences.

Duke’s expression reveals fear and a hint of pain. Inhaling sharply, he hides those emotions and shows me nothing. Now feigning calm, Duke cups my face with his warm hands.

“Just say the words,” he murmurs in a deceptively calm voice.

“I messed up.”

When I don’t continue, his forehead furrows. “Saymorewords.”

Gripping his shirt, I shake my head. “You’ll think I’m trapping you.”

Duke watches me. I see the exact moment when he catches on. Duke chuckles, seeming relieved.

“Good Lord, I thought you were having second thoughts about us now that people know.”

Wiping my eyes, I mumble, “Of course not. Having everyone know is a relief. I had to hide this great thing happening to me.”

Duke brushes his thumb across my lower lip again. “How long have you known about the baby?”

“Only a few hours. I planned to wait longer before telling you. But I can’t handle more secrets. Besides, you can always tell when I’m lying.”

His brow furrows again. “Why would you hide it from me?”

“I didn’t want you to think I’m trying to trap you.”

“Edith, I know you. And you’ve been honest about what you need from me. I didn’t end things when you said a baby was a dealbreaker between us, so I made my choice.”

“Yes, but it’s so fast.”

“Well, I’m not getting any younger.”

Exhaling deeply, I feel torn up inside again. “You don’t really want more kids.”

“I’m not anti-kids,” he insists as he wraps me in his arms. “I just get stressed when I think of late-night feedings and toddlers grabbing at everything. It’s not something I wanted to do again. But as soon as we met, kids have been on my mind.”

“As a punishment for us being together?”

Duke watches me for a minute before smiling and murmuring, “You have an old lady name.”

My pout turns into a scowl, making him chuckle. “You gave your daughters eclectic names.”

“I like pretty names for girls.”

“And you don’t think Edith is a pretty name?”

“It was my grandma’s best friend’s name.”

“No.”

Duke chuckles. “Yeah, but it’s also the name of the sexiest woman I’ve ever met, so it evens out.”

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