I returned downstairs with one of my buttoned-up shirts. “You could wear this so you’d only need to open the middle for me to see. I want to work my way to your breasts rather than having you flash me. I couldn’t handle the stimuli.”
Despite the darkness in her eyes, Ivy smirked. “You’re messing with me.”
“No, I’m trying to seem charming so I can get what I want.”
Ivy took the shirt and pressed it against her cheek. “I want to feel pretty with you. My scars will ruin that.”
“I want us to feel vulnerable together,” I told Ivy, who watched me with a wary gaze. “Soon, you and I will be naked together. I can’t be one of those puritan men who doesn’t explore his woman’s body. If we want no barriers between us, you’ll need to show me eventually.”
Ivy looked at me like a pissed kid told to go bed without dinner. She took my shirt and shambled to the second bedroom. After she shut the door, I glanced down at Hanzee, who stared at where Ivy disappeared.
“Don’t worry. We’re keeping her,” I told the dog when he seemed worried.
A few minutes later, Ivy appeared wearing my shirt and her sleep shorts. The front of my shirt was held closed by her hands.
“Sit on the couch,” Ivy grumbled like I was a jerk to be humored. “Keep your shirt off. I want you to feel vulnerable, too.”
I didn’t dare laugh about the shirtless-vulnerable thing. Ivy was completely serious. I also sensed she was close to crying, so any chuckles on my part could set off her tears.
Resting on the couch, I watched Ivy shuffle closer. As she built up her courage, I admired her pale legs. Unable to help myself, I reached forward and slid my hands from her ankles to her thighs.
Ivy surprised me by nearly launching herself onto my lap. She held my face still and stared at me.
“I’m not one Ivy. I have all these voices in my head. I’m moody, I guess. I want to trust you and share everything and get that comfortable relationship your parents have. I’ve never trusted anyone like that.”
Ivy looked down at her shirt and tugged it closed. “But this other part of me says I can’t be sexy if you see the heart surgery scar. That you’ll turn against me if you know I’m defective. I don’t care if that’s the wrong way to think. That voice is still in my head, and it’s loud right now. It says you’re going to be grossed out and not want me anymore.”
The obvious response would be to reassure her that nothing could turn me off. Those words felt right, but I didn’t think Ivy wanted me to say them. Or at least, the loud voices in her head right now wouldn’t trust them.
“We’ll wait,” I told her as I buttoned the front of the shirt. “I want every voice in your head to be as fearless as the one begging you to get naked and wild with me.”
Ivy’s face morphed through several reactions. I thought she might cry. Then, she looked agitated. Finally, she smiled.
“Maybe I could show you just the top of it,” she offered, and placed her hands on mine buttoning the shirt. “Baby steps.”
“I’d be fine with us making out for a little while before we watch a movie. But if you want to give me a glimpse of the soft skin hiding under this shirt, I won’t interfere.”
Ivy glanced down at her chest as she considered how brave she was willing to be today.
“I feel like I should show you something,” she murmured as her gaze found mine. “After all, you got down to your boxers for me.”
“That wasn’t difficult. I know I’ve got a great ass.”
Ivy’s laughter broke through more of her fear. She opened her shirt a little at the top. My hands wrapped snugly around her hips as I admired her. Ivy fascinated me. I didn’t know what she would do from moment to moment. I suspected she wasn’t sure, either.
Soon, the top of her pale pink scar was visible. I slid my index finger down the smooth flesh long ago sliced open to save her life. Ivy inhaled sharply, watching me for signs of rejection.
I studied her face and tried to see the world through her eyes. She’d been hidden away for most of her life. Her dysfunctional uncle tried to save her by taking her on a week-long journey to nowhere. She hadn’t even grieved his death in a real way.
Ever since we met, I’d been racing her toward the point where she was a fixture in my life. She had barely gotten a chance to catch her breath. I might be falling hard and completely certain about our future, but I hadn’t really done right by Ivy yet.
“Until dinner tomorrow, we’ll hide in the condo,” I said softly before kissing her scar. “We’ll watch whatever you want. We’ll eat whatever you crave. We’ll only leave to take Hanzee to the courtyard.”
“Because I showed you the top of my scar?”
“Because I’m a man who protects his people, and I don’t think I’ve been protecting you enough.”
“You’ve given me everything.”