Page 67 of Body Count

I was still scrolling when not_like_other_guys sent me a message that said,sup.

I didn’t even roll my eyes.I did, however, think about closing Prowler and, you know, doing some legit shit about the fucktastrophe of my life.

Instead, though, I wrote,nm.u?

So bored at work.That was followed immediately by another message.I see my boss on here all the time.It’s hilarious because I know he sees me and he can’t say anything.

Look at that, ladies and gentlemen.Complete sentences.Even, maybe, a sense of humor.

Is he hot?I asked.

What came back was the green, throwing-up emoji face.

Too bad.That’s a totally wasted opportunity to live out some rent boi porn.

Ikr?

If it makes you feel any better, I’m trying to think of something social to do that isn’t meeting up with a stranger to fuck.

Sounds fucking terrible.Why would u do that?

I sent back the shrugging emoji.

A picture came through—a man’s body, no face.Nice body, hairy but trimmed, a decent sized dick with big old grapefruit balls.

Trying to change ur mind, he sent next.

I mean, sometimes sex did clear my head.And for once, this seemed like a guy I could have a conversation with.He looked age appropriate.He was sexy.He was funny.I mean, what if I bought him coffee after?That would just be, like, me putting my own spin on Pauline’s homework.She’d probably be proud of me.

I sent him one of the body shots I kept on my phone.

A moment later, he sent back the fire emoji.U r fucking hot.

I slouched at the counter, my body looser now, feeling the old, familiar sense of gratification start in my belly and spread outward.I tried to decide what to say next.

Before I could, though, he sent another message:U want to choke on my dick while my wife pegs u

That was definitely a new one, I thought.Look at me, Pauline.Making couple friends.

And then, on the heels of that message, he sent another:Don’t know if you’d be cool with this, but we like the dogs to watch.

I closed the app.

So, I thought.That’s a thing that happened.

Maybe trying to plan a social activity wasn’t the best place to start.Maybe that was the kind of thing you had to work up to.Maybe you had to have friends first.Maybe I should start volunteering.Like, at a shelter or something.Or maybe I should get a hobby.Birdwatching.How long before I made a cock joke, though?

Birdwatching, I thought.Really?

What the fuck was happening to me?

I flipped to a new page on the legal pad.GRAY’S LIST OF THINGS THAT MAKE HIM WANT TO SHIT HIMSELF.But that sounded a little too much like there’d be prunes and enemas and diaper play involved, so I tore that one off the pad and threw it away.I wrote GRAY’S LIST OF TRIGGERS, but that sounded so fucking bleak I tore it off the pad too.I left it untitled and wrote on the first line,Light switches.

I mean, that was the big one.That was basically it.

But then I wroteLights turning on unexpectedly.

AndLoud noises.

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