Page 73 of Body Count

Outside the apartment, a car door slammed.Male voices rose, competing with each other, shouting and laughing.Something about who owed money for pizza.

“I told him we were leaving,” Jordan said in a small voice.“I tried to grab his arm.He shoved me again, and he turned to go inside.I wasn’t thinking.I didn’t mean it.”

And then I knew.He didn’t have to finish the story, because I knew.I’d seen Jordan lose control only a few minutes before.How he’d grabbed the closest thing at hand and hurled it at me.

“I just—I just threw it.The glass.I wasn’t trying to hit him.He was going inside.”He started crying in earnest.“But he turned around.He was starting to say something.I think he was going to tell me to go home without him.He turned around, and I’d already thrown the glass, and I didn’t mean to.It was an accident.”

Tears became sobs.I sat there and listened to the sounds of a heartsick boy who didn’t know what to do with all his guilt and grief and rage.In the distance, the familiar beeps and rumbling progress of a garbage truck provided the background track.

When the worst of the weeping was over, I said, “Why did Tip lie?”

Jordan sniffled and dabbed at his eyes with the paper towel he was still holding.If anything, he looked even more miserable—and guiltier—than he had before.“I felt awful about what happened.I did.I knew I had to—to pay for it, or whatever.But then I was with Tip when he woke up.I was the only one.His mom and dad were out in the hallway after his mom tried to claw Rory’s eyes out, and Rory had run off, and Tip kept asking me what had happened, and I realized he didn’t remember.”He twisted the paper towel in his hands.“I told him he’d been trying to score from this shady guy, and they’d gotten into an argument.I told him he had to make up another story.We had to come up with one together.Or he’d get in trouble, you know?So I made up a description of what the guy looked like, and we decided we’d say the guy came out of nowhere, like he was bashing Tip or something.And Tip was scared because his dad is Highway Patrol, and he knew his dad would kill him if he had a drug bust on his record, so he went along with it.”

There were a lot of things I wanted to ask, but I went with the most pressing question: “How fucking stupid are you?”

“I was upset!I wasn’t thinking clearly!”

“Upset?You weren’t upset.You were being a cowardly little shit because you didn’t want to get in trouble.You lied to those detectives.You sent all of us on a wild goose chase.You wasted everybody’s time.You let Tip think it was his own fault he got hurt.”That arrow went home; Jordan’s color dropped.I continued, “And you know the worst part?You helped Tip’s killer, you absolute fucking moron.”

Jordan made a weak, protesting noise and shook his head.

“What else have you been lying about?”I asked.

“Nothing.”

“Jesus Christ, Jordan.”

“I swear to God!”

“Do you know who killed Tip?”

“What?Of course not!”

“Don’t give me that.You’ve been lying since the day I met you.Do you know?”

“No!”

“Where were you the night Tip went missing?”

“I was at a night class, like I told those detectives.They talked to my professor and everything.”

“A night class?So fucking what?That’s an hour?A couple of hours?And then you came home, and Tip was mysteriously gone, but we only have your word for it.”

“Hewasgone.”

“Or you came home and you got in another fight.”

Jordan shook his head.

“Why not?”I asked.“You keep telling me you loved Tip, but you didn’t love him.You wanted him to be your boyfriend, and he wasn’t interested.He kept you around because you did things for him.You were a nice little house-fuck, and you did your chores—”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“—and he’d go out and hook up with whoever he wanted and do whatever he wanted and he didn’t give two fucks about your feelings—”

“It wasn’t like that!”

“—and even after you fucked up his face, he wasn’t interested in you.He didn’t want you.And you couldn’t stand that.You thought you finally had him because nobody else would want him, and hestilldidn’t want you.I bet that made you crazy.”

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