Page 159 of The Love of Priest

Britain’s eyes seared into Priest. Her anger immediately fled, and her sadness took over. "I wished I never asked," she croaked before falling into heavy cries. Her petite body shook mildly in Priest’s arms. Her head hung low as tears turned her flawless makeup into rubbish. She had just given up.

"Brit—" Priest began but immediately stopped. He was on the verge of telling her to stop crying, but he knew it wouldn't be right. She had a lot of anger and pain suppressed inside of her that she needed to let out. This was her chance. "I don't love her." He rested his head on top of hers as he spoke in a soothing voice.Britain had buried her face into his chest, letting her cries ventilate out of her. Priest had wrapped her in his arms, consoling her.

"I don't love her," he reiterated for her. "She still holds power over me, and I hate to tell you that. Paula was the first women that I let into my heart, and she broke it with no remorse. Yes, I think of the what ifs because the way we ended things left me with no clarity or answers. One day, we were good, and the next, she was gone. I loved her. I thought she would be the one I marry. She abandoned me when I needed her the most, though, and for that, I can never look back or forgive her. She’s dead to me, yo," Priest brokenly admitted, his words inflicted with the pain of the damaged person he had become from Paula's selfish actions.

He cupped his hands around Britain's face, adjusting her head to look up at him. Tears stained her face as her eyes tinted red. Her makeup was runny and lipstick smudged from carelessly nestling her head into his chest to wail in tears.

"I dismiss her because I know she can still manipulate me. She knows my weaknesses. I want to get to a point of healing where I can forgive her and hold no hatred or animosity toward her, but that's a work in progress that I haven't even started on. She still affects me, but Ido notlove her." His words seeped into Britain. Priest was speaking his truth, no matter how painful it was for him and Britain to come to terms with it.

Priest could understand why Britain would lash out the way she had. She was a woman who had been through a lot within her time. Her last relationship left her broken and she had vowed to herself that she wouldn't go through that again. No one who had been through so much darkness from a relationship wanted to hear that the last female still held some ground with her new man.

"I love you, yo," Priest declared. "You're everything I could ever imagine in a woman, Britain. The shit you do for me is unmatched. You're my rib. Nobody could take your place. Aight? Don't ever think otherwise," he told her with deep seriousness.

Hearing him say that only intensified Britain's cries. She felt conflicted, even though Priest confirmed all she needed to know. "I'm sorry," she apologized between tears as Priest peered down at her.

His orbs had softened, and his heart pained to see her in tears. "None of this is your fault,” he asserted while shaking his head.

Britain's cries had elevated into full blown sobs. Priest couldn't help but to feel like she was crying about something different now. It seemed like her tears were never ending. He realized that not only were her emotions and mind in a state of distress, but her body was as well due to how it was shaking. Priest lifted her from the ground, cradling her in his arms. He navigated through the apartment, reaching her bedroom.

He sat her on the bed where she immediately curled her body into the fetal position. Priest released a sigh. He wanted her to stop crying, but it was evident that she wouldn't do so any time soon.

Priest waded over to her vanity, grabbing her makeup wipes. With a few wipes in hand, he gently began clearing her face of the ruined makeup.

"I can't s-stop!" she cried out, referring to her crying.

Priest stopped wiping her face free of the makeup, and his eyes bore into hers.

"I know. Let it out," he encouraged her. Priest knew that deep down inside, her harbored emotions from the loss of her daughter, along with all the other things she had numbed herself from feeling, had resurfaced.

Although Britain was in full-blown sobs, Priest still managed to rid her face of as much makeup as he could. He tossed the used wipes in the waste bin before shedding his suit jacket that was stained with her makeup. He stepped out of his shoes before getting into bed right behind Britain.

He pulled her close, consoling her in his arms. Priest couldn't help but think about how well Britain fit for him. Her pain was clear and evident to him, just as his pain was clear and evident to her. They both had gone through so much and showed so little.

After an hour of endless crying, Britain had fallen asleep. Priest held her with no complaints throughout the night. He had finally seen Britain at her lowest, and honestly, he didn't think any less of her. Seeing her this way just proved his point about how strong she was.

ChapterForty

THE NEXT DAY

Britain’s eyes fluttered open.Her tangled lashes had sealed them shut after crying all night. Her head pounded, but her body felt light, as if it had been alleviated of so much. Slowly, she turned to her right, only to see the other side of her bed was vacant. She was sure she hadn't slept alone; Priest had comforted her through the night.

Cautious of her abrasive headache, Britain rose out of bed slowly. She glanced around the bedroom, seeing no sign of Priest. She deeply hoped that her episode the night before hadn't run him completely off. She shuffled slowly toward the bathroom. Once she was inside, she eyed herself in the mirror. The sight of her hair that was a complete mess and her gown from the Liberty Gala that she still wore made her feel sick. She couldn't believe she had acted in such a distasteful manner last night. It wasn't like her.

Britain started herself a shower, slipping out of the gown and her garments before tying her hair up. She let the shower wash away her embarrassment of how the night ended. She wasn't sure exactly how she was going to face Priest, if she even got the chance. After her much needed shower, Britain wrapped herself in a fresh towel. She exited her conjoined bathroom and entered her bedroom. There sat Priest at the edge of her bed, pearling a joint with his lips. Britain froze. She was shocked that he even returned. After her behavior the night before, she wouldn't have been shocked if he disappeared for a while. At least that was what she was used to.

"You feeling alright?" He looked up from his rolled blunt, eyeing her.

Britain sheepishly nodded. "Thank you for staying." Her first time speaking since waking up, her usual light and airy voice sounded cracked and raspy.

Priest shot her a light smile. "It's nothing, Gioia," he assured her with a light shrug. "You need anything?"

"I wanna apologize," Britain started with a look of guilt etched on her face. "I know you aren't used to seeing me act like that. I didn't mean to lash out at you." Unable to look him in the eye, she fixed her attention on her hands and proceeded to fiddle with them nervously.

Priest let out a sigh. He called her over to him, opening his arms for her to settle into his hold. She stood between his legs, Priest’s hands gripping the back of her smooth thighs that were still damp from the shower. "When we first started out, I opened myself up to you with no limits. You accepted the good, bad, and ugly with no hesitation. I'm here to do the same for you," Priest assured her as his hands caressed her skin.

Britain craned down, applying a kiss to his lips. He smirked within the kiss as his hands trailed up, toying with the spot where she tucked her towel to keep it secure around her body. Britain lifted her arms slightly, granting him permission to pull the towel from her body. It fell into a heap at her ankles, revealing her body, bare and exposed to him. She shuddered at the feeling of the cold air against her body.

Priest parted from the kiss and leaned back on his elbows, getting a full view of Britain's bare body. He bit down on his bottom lip as his eyes trailed her body from head to toe.

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