Page 178 of The Love of Priest

"It took a lot for me to get myself to this point of strength this morning. I gotta be honest. I thought about just not showing up, but all I could hear in the back of my head was Jamari saying,I'm holding you to it, Priest." He chuckled lightly while gently passing his thumb over his nose to keep his emotions in check. "Those were actually the last words he said to me. Me and Jamari had this long-standing bargain that if he made good grades, I would take him anywhere he wanted in one of my rides. We've been doing this since he's been in the fourth grade. He had this crazy love for my cars, and every time he would see me pull up, his eyes would light up, and he would tell me how soon he would be rolling in a whip just as nice as mine," Priest recalled with a light smile.

"One thing I loved about little homie was that he was so optimistic and sure of himself. He had more confidence than me, and I survived it all. He was a strong kid. Kept those grades right, siblings in line, and for damn sure kept me on my toes. He was great, and I'm so blessed and thankful to have experienced life with him. His end story is tragic. I imagined giving a little impromptu speech at his graduation dinner far before speaking at his funeral, but I'm playing the cards how they were dealt. It’s painful, disturbing and heart wrenching that I gotta stand here today, but I knew he wouldn't want anyone one else telling you guys about how astonishing of a person he was." Priest smiled as he once again eyed Jamari.

"Word has gotten out to the media, and they're painting Jamari's murder out to be like every other murder that's happened within the community. That’s not flying with me at all. Jamari wasn't a potential gang member. He was the kid who made his own anime club in school no matter how bad his guys played him out for it ‘cause they thought it was lame. He was the kid who woke up two hours early so he could see Tasha off to work and make sure to get King and Jaden ready for school. He was the kid who never got angry because he knew the value of life. He was everything I wished I embodied when I was his age. He kept his innocence, despite living in a harsh reality. Jamari was so at peace with life. I talk to him every day in my prayers just to keep him updated with everything. I tell him how much I'm gonna fight for him and how I'm gonna continue with all the things he promised his mother and brothers. I'm saying all this to say, even though his physical being is no longer with us, and his life was taken away tragically, his spirit still lives on,"Priest concluded, causing a round of applause to fill the church.

"To love, to family, to loyalty, to Jamari!"

ChapterForty-Four

Britain laidwith her back against Priest’s chest. Their attention was casted onto her laptop that was live streaming a sermon from their go-to pastor, Riva Holmes. She was young, relatable and wise beyond her years. Priest and Britain always related to her sermons simply because she didn't harp on the same issue and topic constantly. She pushed the envelope and talked about things that even Priest and Britain weren't comfortable talking about.

Over Britain's shoulders, Priest shifted his dark orbs from the laptop onto the stack of sticky notes Britain kept on hand next to her chiseled point pen. Every so often, she would jot down stuff worth remembering during the sermon. The points she really wanted to remember were marked with an asterisk.

This had become a normality for Britain. Priest enjoyed watching her take her notes. She had great penmanship. Her small details, like adding a heart above her I's and below her exclamation marks, always amused Priest. He loved how she kept her innocence when it came to little things. He was sure that her added hearts in her penmanship were something she did as a child and had carried with her into adulthood.

Reaching over her, Priest grabbed the stack of neon pink sticky notes that she inked with her black pen. "Being selfish isn't the same as putting you first," Priest read aloud the note she jotted down.

Britain nodded, letting the statement resonate with her once more. She took ahold of the sticky notes, peeling the quote from the top. Priest laughed as she stuck it directly on his forehead. They both knew how much he struggled with putting himself first over taking care of everyone else. Priest’s biggest fear was not doing enough. He had so much to offer, and it just wouldn't have sat right with him if he was constantly thinking of himself.

"Alright. I'll take that to the chin.” His laughter settled as he plucked the sticky note off his forehead.

"It's alright, P. We're learning." She smirked as she rested her head back onto his chest. This time, she turned around to wrap her arms around him.

The two watched the remainder of the sermon in silence. Once the live stream came to an end, Priest and Britain shared a prayer before taking time to say their own in silence. It always felt revitalizing to do these types of things with Priest. He found interest in connecting with The Man Above beyond just praying when things got rough. Priest was an active believer in God. He prayed constantly. When he woke up, before he ate, before he left the house, and before he went to bed, he prayed. Everything was surrounded by prayer. Britain loved every bit of it.

"I need to talk to you about something." Priest's raspy voice came through Britain's ears, and she sat up with her back against the headboard of his bed.

Britain furrowed her brows slightly as she eyed him. "What's up?" she asked.

Instead of rendering her a verbal response, Priest rose from the bed. He waded over to the dresser where he had his jewelry straightened out. After retrieving something, he returned to the bed, handing Britain the piece of paper he had in his hand.

"What's this?" Britain asked him.

"Leonard," he stated with a heavy breath.

Britain unfolded the paper, seeing Leonard's number etched on it in pen. "He took the bait. Are you gonna call?" Britain handed the paper back to him.

Priest screwed up his face in distaste. "Fuck no," he scoffed while shaking his head.

"Why not, P?" Britain tilted her head to the side questioningly.

Priest shrugged in a dismissive manner. "I don't have shit to say to him. We not family, and he made that clear a long time ago." Britain could see how overtaken by anger Priest was just by the way he spoke of Leonard. His nose began to flare, and his jaws clenched.

"P, what if he had a change of heart?" Britain’s brow rose.

He scoffed. "Ain't shit change about that nigga. I would be a fool if I went in expecting a father out of him. He made it clear how it is and how it's gonna remain. I'm gonna keep it pushing, and he can do the same," Priest concluded. Although his decision not to follow through with reaching out to his father was already made, he felt compelled to talk about it with Britain. Priest was two steps ahead of any situation.

He knew Leonard's bull shit attempt to extend the olive branch was only because he heard how quickly and efficiently Priest's product was making its way into his brother June's territory. The fact that Leonard thought he could get one up on Priest so easily by swindling him into a father and son relationship made Priest sick. Leonard must've taken him for a fucking fool.

"P, I just think—" Britain got cut off by Priest before she could even start.

"This mothafucka take me as a fucking fool," Priest spat as he crumpled the paper with Leonard's number on it. "That shit is dead. He can go son the next dumbass nigga.” He walked the piece of paper over to the small trash bin, letting it fall and collect itself into the trash.

Britain let out a sigh. Priest's feelings toward his father could’ve been described as hatred, but Priest didn't believe in hate, so he didn't consider it as such. Priest, however, didn't think Leonard would last in his vicinity. He simply couldn't respect Leonard. The man was big shit in the streets, but in his personal life, he was a fucking coward. He couldn't think of him as anything besides that.

"Come here," Britain called him over in her soothing voice.

Instantly, Priest's tense shoulders were alleviated of the stress of his father. He let out a small breath before making his way over to her. She opened her arms to him, and Priest fell into her embrace. "He's your cycle." Britain kissed the top of his head.

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