Page 179 of The Love of Priest

"He's not worth it," he grumbled.

Britain’s hands caressed his low cut that was embedded with waves. "Then don't make him," she advised him. "He only has the control you allow. If you let him take up so much space in your heart, in your mind, he and his shortcomings will dictate your whole life."

Priest took in Britain's words. She was right. Subconsciously, he had been allowing Leonard to have him so twisted up in anger and fury. It needed to stop.He let out a deep sigh, the anger from thinking of Leonard subsiding quickly.

"Who was your cycle?" Priest shifted his dark eyes up to Britain.

Britain herself let out a deep sigh as well. Unpacking the heavy load of her cycle was hard for her, but Priest made the atmosphere open and comfortable. "My ex," Britain admitted. "You sure you wanna hear about this?"

Priest nodded, giving her the green light to proceed. "From the beginning.”

Britain let out a light chortle before tracing her memory back to when Cameron waltzed himself into her life. "It started at this party I went to back in college. It was the day after exams, so everyone was enjoying themselves without the stress of studying for tests. I literally had to drag Jadey out that night because she was so tired. We partied all night and enjoyed ourselves. Jadey, who happens to be much more responsible than I am when I'm having fun, tried dragging me out of the party, but I was too invested in getting drunk. She ended up staying for a little while until our good friend— well, we thought she was our friend, Sandra—insisted on Jadey leaving so I could just hang with her. Jadey was skeptical about leaving, but I was always so hard on her about always having me on a tight leash that I snapped on her and told her to go home. She definitely didn't want to leave without me, but Sandra seemed trusting, so she left. She was less attentive and responsible than Jadey was, so I really just spent the whole party drunk off my ass without any supervision."

A part of Priest felt as though he knew where Britain was going with this story. Things always seemed to go south when women got drunk and people they trusted as friends left them high and dry.

"I remember taking a few shots before everything just went black." Britain let out a deep breath. Like any other heart-aching trauma Britain had experienced, she felt it best if she laughed through her pain, despite how sinister it may have sounded to be in full amusement over something so scarring. "I woke up the next day naked and sore in the back seat of my own car." Her light laughter digressed before she gulped, desperately trying to encourage herself to continue with the story.

Priest felt compelled to sit up. Although he had expected where her story was leading to, it was still shocking to him. Britain had gone through the unthinkable and still managed to keep shit so put together. She really could shake anything. That was one of her strongest abilities. Priest wrapped his arms around her.

"My bad," he apologized, feeling as though his curiosity led her to rehash shit she vowed to never speak on again.

"No, it's okay. I trust you with everything." A light smile graced her face.

Priest nodded, signaling her to proceed with the story if she was able. "I blacked out, and shit happened," she shrugged. "My clothes were in the car luckily and so were all my belongings. I drove straight to Jadey and just cried. Even though I wasn't too sure what happened, it didn't take rocket science to put two and two together," she sighed. "I really thought I could put that night behind me after I got tested and checked out at the clinic and everything was okay, but things got worse. There was a video that got leaked, and it was just revolting. I was drunk, and they just took advantage of that."

"They?" Priest asked for clarification with his jaws clenched. It was evident that he couldn't handle it as well as Britain could, yet she was the one who lived through the harsh reality.

Britain nodded her head. Britain's way of coping was to withdraw all emotions from the situation. She told every traumatic story of her life like she wasn't a part of it. In her mind, she was telling someone else's story.

"Yeah. I was an easy target. I was drunk as hell, the person who Jadey and I thought was our friend ditched me, and I'm sure I was being a social fucking butterfly that night." She shook her head. Britain still managed to blame herself for what happened to her. There were so many things she could have done to avoid the situation, but it happened anyway. She took the cards how they were dealt and played the fuck out of them.

"The video got around campus fairly quickly as soon as it hit social media. I was so embarrassed. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was the one who got violated in every way possible, and everyone still blamed me. My outfit was too revealing. I should have handled my liquor better. I was asking for it. Just all these crazy things that baffled me. It was like everyone was against me except Jadey and my family. Then I met my ex. He approached me after I stormed out of the dean’s office after I demanded the boys who violated me be expelled since the cops weren't doing anything. He could tell I was disappointed, so from then on, he helped me pin every one of those guys."

Cameron could see how hopeless Britain felt just by looking into her eyes. He sympathized with her. Although he was a toxic ass hole who put Britain through hell, he really did used to have a heart. He helped Britain get justice for what those disgusting and ignorant guys did to her. It was rape, and Cameron didn't tolerate that to any extent. He helped her get out of that bottomless pit of depression she had resorted to once everyone began to blame her for what those guys did to her body. Cameron not only helped Britain get those guys expelled and cut their chances of going to the NFL completely, but he also helped Britain get them prosecuted on multiple criminal charges of rape.

"I was hopeless and on my last bit of strength when I met him, and he turned all of that around. What made things easier was that he knew my situation before I even met him, so I didn't have to explain things to him. He knew how violated I felt and how alone I felt because no one really understood me. He took his time with me. However empty minded it may sound, I fell for him, and the feelings were reciprocated. What I didn't know was that he was really building me up to tear me back down to be weaker than I was when he found me."

Priest readjusted his arms around her, his orbs meeting with hers. "Brit, you don't have to keep—" Once again, Britain interjected. She reassured him of her strength and asserted that she was capable before continuing.

"I told you I'm okay. It's the past," she shrugged as she let out another breath. Britain cleared her throat before continuing. "We were dating. It wasn't exclusive, but I was content with it. Things happened, and I had to move back to New York. It took me a while to finally convince him to follow me here, but he did. When he got here, he painted this perfect life for us. Young college kids who were gonna stay together through anything, the ups and downs of our careers included. He acted just like you. Treated me great. Respected me. Told me how beautiful I was. He was perfect, but every good thing comes with a catch. He had one rule and one rule only: I couldn't tell anyone about us. I was content with being his little secret. In my mind, I managed to equate him keeping me a secret with him not wanting people in our business. Now I know that those are two completely different things," Britain scoffed.

"He complained a lot about New York, but eventually he found his swing around the city. Made friends, started coming home a lot later, and made use of his phone a lot more for others and less for me. Things just started changing, and so did his actions toward me. It started to feel a lot less like a relationship and more like a dictatorship. He started off by randomly giving me a gym membership after I cooked all day for him, only for him to come home late. Then he went on to tell me how he liked my hair. It began to grow comical when one day he randomly texted me the contact to an orthodontist so I could invest in braces." Britain laughed, showcasing her beautiful gap that Priest adored.

Priest couldn't even believe the shit Britain was saying. It was evident that her ex was no longer attracted to her once he dove knee deep into the fast and vast waters of New York. "I tried ignoring his suggestions, but then it got more demanding. He started complaining about how I laughed, talked, the clothes I wore, my posture, my hyperpigmentation, and a ton of other things I just couldn't control. To you, those may look like vivid red flags to run for the hills, but he was a charmer and knew how to manipulate any situation. He claimed he wanted to make me a better me. As silly as it sounds, I believed him and fell for it all. I started changing myself for him. The less he complained, the more time I would get with him. I had to be perfect/"

Priest let out a deep sigh. "C'mon, Gioia. You're better than that," he reminded her with slight disappointment.

Britain chortled lightly. "I know that now." She smiled as she cupped her hands around his face. "But before, I didn't. To me, he was still the boy who saw my potential after my entire naked body was plastered all over the internet. He made me feel strong again and didn't blame me for what those guys did to me."

"Promise me you'll never give me that much leeway," Priest said to her with deep seriousness.

Britain leaned up, applying her lips to his. "You got my word," she promised him while placing her hand over his heart. Priest smiled lightly while placing his hand over her heart. "Now, c'mon. Get up. You know the drill," she urged him.

Priest screwed up his face in confusion. "No. I don't know the drill."

Britain released a dramatic sigh. "Every time I tell you some sad, gloomy story about what I've gone through, I reward you with an impromptu date." She smiled as she gave him the run down.

Priest sat up and laughed as he grew amused by how quickly Britain made light of any and everything. "I wish I got the memo. I would have taken you out on a lot more dates."

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