Page 77 of The Love of Priest

Britain smiled at the gesture. He did it a lot. It signified that he took his promises seriously, no matter how small or big they were.

The two navigated out of the bathroom and returned to her bed. They laid next to each other with Priest's arms wrapped around her. In the distance, reruns of classic sitcoms sounded from the television. Britain felt comfortable in Priest's arms. She gazed at him gazing back at her. "You remind me a lot of my dad," Britain told him, causing a light chuckle to seep from him.

"He played a huge part in my upbringing. I'm sure without him there to teach me right from wrong, when need be, I would've probably been some clown."

Remy made it clear that he never wanted to be a father figure to Priest. He had connections with Leonard long before he got locked up. Although Leonard never really confirmed that Priest was his kin, Jeremy could see it. The boy was just as hardheaded and stubborn as him. There was no denying Priest, as much as Leonard wanted to. Priest had those same dark eyes. Since Leonard wasn't much of a father due to the circumstances and his desire to avoid Sylvia at all costs, Remy did what he could with Priest. He never spoke with Leonard about Priest— he never spoke to Leonard at all for that matter. However, he was sure the streets were telling him all he needed to know.

Britain reached up and caressed his face. The stubble of his beard brushed against the pads of her fingers. Priest instantly relaxed at her touch. "So, your dad was never really in your life?" Britain asked Priest.

He shook his head. "The only picture I seen of him was his mugshot. Niggas in my camp clown a lot whenever they update the mugshots. They send it to me and claim the more I age, the more I look like him." He let out a dry chuckle before shaking his head. "I don't see it. I guess I try not to."

"Why not?" Britain inquired.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I guess he was just everything I never wanted to be, but somehow I landed in the same situation. It's like God wanted a repeat of Leonard, and He got it."

Priest rarely spoke of the ill feelings he had against Leonard. Everyone knew he had some hatred for him, but it was hard for him to put it into words. Whenever he found the words to speak on Leonard, it made him feel less of himself. The same nigga he talked down on was the same nigga he was becoming. He always vowed to never be like Leonard, but it looked like that was who God aligned him to be. "You're not a repeat," Britain sighed.

Priest shrugged. "If you say so."

"I know so. You're a great man." She leaned in and kissed his lips gently.

"I appreciate that," he expressed his gratitude.

"Tell me about your father." Britain knew she was trekking in dangerous territory when inquiring about Leonard, but she wanted to know. She was sure Priest needed to vent about his father just by the way he spoke with so much annoyance in his tone whenever he mentioned Leonard.

Priest exhaled a heavy sigh. "Man, I don't have a father," he clarified.

"Priest, everyone has one, whether they were present, passed, or M.I.A. He's your father," Britain explained, hoping to put an end to the way Priest was thinking.

Priest rotated from his side to lie flat on his back with his orbs fixed on the ceiling. "He doesn't feel that way, though," Priest toldBritain with a light shrug.

"Have you ever spoken to him?" She raised her brow.

Priest shook his head. "I don't have nothing to say to him. He's a coward."

"Where is he now?"

"He got out of prison a few years ago. He pretty much disappeared off the face of the earth. I ain't heard shit about him, but I'm sure he's been keeping tabs on me. If we run into each other, I'll keep it pushing, just as I expect him to. There's no point in chopping it up. He denied me when I was young, so I expect him to keep that same energy. It's way too late for him to try to act like he gives a fuck."

Hearing him speak with so much anger and grit told Britain that he was hurt by Leonard. He tried to mask it by claiming he wanted Leonard to keep that same energy, but in reality, he just didn't feel like he was enough, and he hated that. Leonard was the only person in this world to make him feel that way. Priest spent a lot of his childhood having hope that his father would come to his senses and give him a better life. If he just accepted Priest, there was no telling how different Priest's upbringing would have been. A lot of the hatred he had for Leonard definitely stemmed from the fact that he felt like his father failed him.

Everyone around him felt as though Priest should’ve been projecting those same feelings onto Sylvia, who put him through so much trauma as an adolescent. Priest felt otherwise, though. Yes, Sylvia failed him; however, she acknowledged him. She claimed him as her own, and, on some good days, she wrapped her arms around him and let him know that even though he had no father, he had a trying mother. Yes, she could have tried a whole lot more, but she never just denied him as her own. It may have sounded like he was making a ton of excuses for his mother's actions, but to him, everything resonated, which was why he would continue to tolerate her.

Britain said nothing. The look on his face let her know that he was just ordering his thoughts so he could continue to vent. Britain allowed him as much time as he needed. "I just can't understand how someone could treat the innocence they created like shit, and that goes for both of my parents." He shook his head.

Britain let out a sigh. "Some people don't deserve that innocence." She applied a light kiss onto his temple. "Your job is to never allow those situations to define who you are or rob you of that innocence. Continue to smile, continue to laugh, continue to love."

"I gotta have received love to know how to love," he breathed.

Priest had a hard time grasping onto love. Women he'd been in relationships with always parted ways with him because he never could fully love them. It was hard for him to do so since his entire life, all he'd been dealing with was the opposite of love. Priest was his best when he was neglecting his emotions and the people who claimed to love him, simply because he knew the feeling. The only people Priest could genuinely say he loved was Jazzy, J'Ru, Kaymen, and a select few of his extended family. Priest knew he felt some sort of feeling for Britain, but after admitting to himself that it was love, he was able to convince himself in the same thought that it wasn't. He considered it bliss. He and Britain were still in their honeymoon phase, enjoying the calm waters. Love would come once she withstood the rapid waters of his life. Sadly, that shouldn't have been the case.

Britain pulled him close and wrapped her arms around him. Priest laid his head on her chest, listening to the soothing sounds of her heartbeat. They weaved their fingers together so they could hold hands. Like always, Priest stroked his thumb gently over Britain's hand. "This is what it feels like," Britain eased out in her light voice.

Priest's long lashes fluttered as he fixed his eyes into hers. The darkness in his orbs diminished as they softened into a much lighter color. In an instant, Priest secured his arms around her tighter. "Shit feels good," Priest admitted in a low voice.

Content with the soothing patterns of each other's calm breathing, sleep bit at their ankles. They managed to catch up on some rest for about two hours before Britain jolted out of her sleep. She looked to her left noticing that Priest was no longer in bed. Gracing her eyes over the bedroom, she noticed that he was sitting at the foot of her bed with his grinder, weed, and everything else he needed to roll.

"You alright?" he asked over his shoulder.

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