Page 53 of Five Fingers of Death

“You’re not in this alone. Why don’t you talk to Tahlia tomorrow and figure out the details for Leah’s funeral?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks for the beer.”

He clapped me on the back on the way out. I finished my beer and shut off the lights downstairs. Once I was in my room, I turned on the TV and tried to drown out my thoughts with whatever movie was on. But no matter how long I stared at the screen, all I saw was Leah’s bloodied face.

“Daddy?”

I sat up, twisting to see Carli in my doorway. “Hey, baby girl. What’s wrong?”

“I had a bad dream.”

“You did?” She nodded, her little lips twisting to the side. I almost got out of bed to take her back, but we were both having a shit night, and I just couldn’t do it. “Do you want to come sleep in my bed?”

She nodded quickly and then came running, jumping up into bed with me. The little doll in her arms was tucked in tight beside her as she snuggled under the covers. I bent over and kissed her on the forehead, then laid down beside her.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I’m scared.”

Those words tore my heart out. I was right beside her, yet she was still scared. I didn’t know how to make that better. She needed something funny. Something that would take her mind off whatever her dream was.

“How about we watch a movie?”

“Really?” she asked, her eyes wide and innocent.

“Yeah. I’ll let you pick.”

And that was how we started our nightly tradition of watching movies in bed. Was it the right way to go to sleep? Probably not, but my little girl felt safe, and as she slept in my arms, I was comforted that she wasn’t quite so scared at night.

11

ISABELLE

“What are you doing today?”

I ran the brush through my hair and smiled at Ebarardo. “Baking brownies.”

I hoped he would be okay with that. I didn’t tell him another man would be here. He wouldn’t like that.

“You always wanted to learn to bake.”

He sat in the chair in the corner of the room, watching me as I continued to brush my hair. I stared at him in the mirror, remembering how he used to look at me adoringly.

“A little girl will be there. Her name is Carli.”

“Oh?”

I recognized that tone. Curious, but also with a hint of distrust, so I forged on. “She lost her mother recently. I thought maybe I could cheer her up.”

The air thickened with all the unspoken dreams we’d had. Family was always just out of reach for us. We’d discussed it many times, but it had never been the right moment. Well…there had been one time, but…

“Our little girl would have been seven this year.”

I nodded, dropping my eyes to the vanity. I never spoke of her, never thought of her. We’d lost her before we even had a chance to be her parents, and the pain was too much to even consider having another. She had been an accident anyway.

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