“Forget I said anything,” I muttered, turning away from her.
My cock slipped from her grip, but that didn’t stop her from saying what was on her mind. “I saw the scars. They’re faded, but you can’t hide them.”
“Nice try.”
“I would guess they’re not that old based on how puckered they are. Probably within the last ten to fifteen years.”
“That’s some guess.”
“And they’re not faded like they would be if you got them as a kid.”
“Again, you’re just speculating,” I said as anger morphed in the pit of my stomach. How dare she dig around in my head like this? Who the fuck did she think she was?
“My first guess would be that you got them in the military, but if that was the case, I have no doubt you’d tell me just that and then tell me to fuck off.”
I glared at her, my jaw clenching hard in anger.
“And since you haven’t said that, I would assume it happened after you got out of the military. What I don’t know is why you hide them so much.”
“Never said I was hiding them,” I grunted.
“But you’re not open about them either. You’re pissed as hell that I’m bringing them up.”
“It’s called privacy. You’re not my fucking wife or even my girlfriend. You’re a good lay, and that’s it. I don’t know what the hell you think you’re trying to do here.”
“It had to be about a woman. Only a woman would make you clamp up about something like this. Or a massive betrayal.”
The look of contemplation on her face made me want to strangle her and kiss her at the same time.
“Of course, it could be both. Which would be fucking horrible.” Her face turned dark and sad as she stared up at the ceiling. “I know the feeling all too well.”
I hated that look on her face. I’d seen it only one other time, and that nearly killed me. She woke up in the middle of the night when we were at her house in Minnesota. I didn’t know if it was the fact that I was in her bed or if it was just horrible luck, but the nightmare brought on that night left her a shattered mess.
I was the only one who witnessed any of it. She acted as if nothing happened the next morning. She went on with her day, chipper and perfectly fine. Nothing fazed this woman. But every once in a while, I saw a glimpse of who she was underneath that tough exterior. Like right now…she saw right through me because she’d been there.
She rolled back to face me and tucked her hand under her face. “Who was she?”
I don’t know what possessed me to say a damn thing to her. I didn’t owe her anything. In fact, if I was smart, I would have kept my mouth shut. But the way she was looking at me, it was like she was begging me to understand what she had gone through.
“Doesn’t matter what her name was.”
“But she did something.”
I nodded, staring into her eyes. “I trusted her. It turned out to be the worst decision of my life.”
“How long ago was this?”
The memories flashed through my mind as if it had just happened yesterday. I had been so young and idealistic. I thought I was doing the right thing, that I knew what the fuck I was talking about. But Rafe was right. There was no room for a relationship in this business. There was no room for anything other than the job. I just wish I had realized that before she betrayed me.
“Just after I started working with Johnny and Jack.”
Her eyebrow rose in confusion. “Who’s Jack?”
“He’s—”
Not here.
On a job in prison.