Page 45 of Craving Francesca

The rest of the night settled into a blur of fun and comfort, but the leftover anxiety from the encounter with Scott never lessened. I didn’t see Gray again. He must’ve left while we were opening all the food. I wondered if he thought I was an idiot for getting mixed up with someone from work.

Hell, IknewI was an idiot for doing it. It was just a little hard to swallow that the man I’d put on a pedestal as the ideal I compared all other men against knew it too. Twice he’d seen me dealing with stuff I’d rather no one else know about. He was probably counting his lucky stars he’d walked away after we’d hooked up.

The rest of the weekend passed far too quickly for my comfort and when Monday rolled around, I had a hard time getting out of bed. I wished I could just go to sleep and have the entire day over with. Instead, I pushed myself up and headed for the shower. Afterward, I walked back into my room and pulled on a pair of baggy sweats and a hoodie.

I dug through my sock drawer until I found the fuzziest ones I owned, black with a little bee on them with a speech bubble coming out of its mouth like a cigarette that saidbuzz off. They fit my mood.

Lou had already left for work, and I wandered around the house for a while until it was time to call for a car. It took about ten minutes before they pulled up outside, and I used the time to make sure I had everything I needed in my purse. With a deep breath, I walked outside and locked the door behind me.

I didn’t meet the driver’s eye as I gave him the clinic’s address and buckled my seat belt. He could think whatever he wanted about me. I didn’t give a shit.

The next hour was pretty hazy. The receptionist at the clinic had been a year behind me in school. They had short orange and purple hair that stuck up in a faux hawk and gauges in their ears that I could fit my thumb through. I loved them. We’d never hung out in the same crowd, which had made it easier to face them initially, but I knew within minutes of checking in why they’d been hired. They were maybe the most welcoming, thoughtful, and nonjudgmental person I’d ever met.

When I stepped inside the building, I hadn’t even passed the security guard before they were out of their seat and rounding the counter to meet me.

“Hey, Frankie,” they greeted easily, smiling as I shuffled forward.

It was the right thing. I had no doubts. I had no reservations. My decision was clear as glass. I was still nervous as I met their eyes.

“I’ll walk you back,” they said, reaching out to give my arm a squeeze. “Doctor’s back there waiting on you.”

“Am I late?” I ask as I followed them into the back hallway.

“Nope,” they assured me. “You just won’t have to wait.”

We went over my options one more time. Discussed aftercare. The doctor was kind and matter of fact as she looked at my file. She didn’t question me for a moment as I answered her questions clearly and decisively.

I stared at the light covers that were decorated in blue skies and clouds until the medicine knocked me out. When I woke up in recovery, there was a warm blanket pulled up to my shoulders and a kind nurse sitting in a chair beside me.

“Feeling okay?” she asked as she rose to her feet.

“You’re already done?” I asked groggily.

“All done,” she confirmed with a small smile. “The procedure went perfectly. As soon as you’re up and around, you can have someone pick you up.”

“Okay,” I rasped, leaning back on the pillow as relief made my head feel light.

I was done. It was finally over. Tears rolled down my face as I closed my eyes. Thank God.

A little while later when I was feeling steadier, I sent for a car and put my clothes back on, glad that I’d opted for comfort when I’d gotten dressed. I wanted to crawl in bed and watch movies for the rest of the day or lose myself in a book. I wasn’t going to move until I had to be at work on Wednesday.

“Thanks, Jesse,” I called out as I passed the reception desk, my aftercare instructions and antibiotics stuffed into my purse.

“Take care,” they called back, looking at me over their shoulder.

The sun was bright against my eyeballs as I stepped outside, and I paused for a second to get my bearings. The car I’d ordered was sitting at the curb waiting, and I took a few steps forward before I froze.

I couldn’t get in there. I didn’t know that man. He was waiting patiently with a bland look on his face. He wasn’t threatening, he didn’t even seem very big, but I couldn’t make myself move.

“Frankie?” he called, leaning toward the passenger seat.

I shook my head. Even my vocal cords seemed to be frozen.

My hands shook as I pulled out my phone.

Gray answered on the first ring.

“You okay?”

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