Page 41 of The Surprise

At first, not much of it made any sense, but over time, phrases like the rule of thirds, fill the frame, the rule of space, the golden ratio, they started to gel. And then other things, like apertures, aspect ratios, and shutter speed also started to swirl around in my brain. By the time I was in high school, I was teaching my art teacher basic photographic principles. . .and she assigned me to take photos for the school.

But after meeting Ethan, my photography changed.

Instead of snapping clean, classic images, or focusing on the individual in front of me, my point of view shifted. I still took the photos I had to take, but I noticed small details, like the sky’s brilliant color shading when I focused on the dimension of the gravel on the ground. I started to notice the shiny, beautifully unique things that were all around me in sleepy, old Manila.

Brownings, with its metal moose on the side and unique metal walls. The aging school building with stunning mountains in the background. The flaming gorge I’ve driven past nine million times stood out in a new way.

Isn’t it strange how your feelings about the world you’ve always known can change when your feelings about yourself and your own value in it shift, just a hair?

And that’s what happens to me when Ethan starts flirting.

For the first time in my life, I start to wonder whether I might have been wrong about myself. Maybe I’m not trash. Would someone like Ethan like someone who was garbage? I find it extremely hard to believe.

Could I be worth more than I ever believed possible?

TONIGHT, EIGHT O’CLOCK.

There’s a blizzard coming, so I know I won’t see him for a while. It’s exciting, meeting at the corner where our property meets Steve Archer’s. First, there’s the danger that the horse doc may catch us again, though as long as we aren’t drinking, hopefully he won’t get angry about it. But secondly, it feels like we’re snatching moments together, and that makes them seem more special, somehow. Like seeing glimpses of a beautiful vista as you peer around the cracks in a fence. Because it’s notyours,because it’s noteasy,it feels more worth the effort.

So with trembling hands, I text him back. WEAR A HEAVY COAT, CITY BOY.

He sends me a freezing cartoon emoji with icicles hanging off by way of response.

The moments crawl until it’s time for me to sneak out. It should be easy—Mom’s at rehab again. It’s just me and Dad, and he never cares what I’m doing as long as I don’t ask him for anything. It’s sort of like being an emancipated teen with a credit card. I’m easing the cake I bought at the True Value out of the fridge when he speaks.

“What’s that for?”

I drop it.

Of course I do.

I’m not very good at lying, and hiding things is like lying’s younger brother—not quite as impressive, but still related. I’m obviously equally bad at it.

“Oh, man,” I say. “Now it’s ruined.”

“Why did you buy a whole cake?” Dad shakes his head. “What a waste.”

I think about Ethan, brushing ants and dirt and sticks off those two soggy sandwiches and eating them anyway. It makes me laugh.

“Why is this funny?” Dad glares. “You’re cleaning it up.”

“I could probably salvage the top,” I say in a fit of generosity. “Want some?”

Dad rolls his eyes in disgust and leaves.

Thankfully, he isn’t around to notice that Idosalvage the top, and I shove the cake box under my arm when I slide out the back door. I’m stuck racing across the dark and hard-to-navigate ground, praying half-heartedly that I won’t twist an ankle. I’m late, but Ethan’s waiting patiently when I arrive.

“You came.”

“You were worried?”

He shrugs. “I think I’m always worried until I see you.”

I can’t help my grin. “Me, too.”

“My Juliet.”

I shake my head. “No, that had a terrible ending, remember?”

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